Being too honest about grad dress the wrong move

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/05/2018 (3017 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend and I are going to grad together, and she picked out a dress and asked me to take a look at it. I really didn’t think it suited her and it made her face look pale and green. She asked me to tell the honest truth and I did — even the green part. Then she cried! She thought it was the best dress ever. Why did she even ask my opinion?

I can’t win. She made me swear to tell the truth, and I did, and now she’s mad that I did. Girls! When I got home, I told my dad what happened and he just shook his head and told me I have so much to learn about women he didn’t even know where to start. I need your help! Where do I start?

— Idiot, Winnipeg

Dear Idiot: The best you can do to save this mess is to say, “I’m sorry our taste was different on that particular dress. What do I know about fashion? Nothing! Pick out what you like, and don’t ask me. If you’re wearing what you love, your face will shine and that will really be beautiful.”

Good luck with that line. Write back and let us know if it works, please.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man a long time ago at a conference, who turned my head. Literally! I looked at him once and did a double-take, and looked again. Then his eyes locked with mine, and that was the beginning.

We were stuck like glue to each other for three days at that conference, sexually and otherwise. But he lived in Toronto, and we already both had people in our lives. I have since divorced.

Recently, I went to a conference in another city I was pretty sure he would be at, and he was. He and his wife are on the skids (he said his wife is having an affair).

He confessed on the second day that he was angry with her, and he only came to the conference hoping I would be there. Well, we were right on each other, kissing in a back hallway like teenagers within minutes. It was so intense I almost cracked a tooth. Now we’re both crazy with wanting to be together.

Now what?

— Déjà Vu, Winnipeg

Dear Déjà Vu: Now, the smart move is to do nothing. Wait to see if it’s just a conference attraction thing, and if it goes away when you are out of Mr. Hottie’s sight. Or, maybe he still feels mad-crazy for you, and he’s going to end the relationship with his straying wife.

You’re already free from your husband, so he knows there’s a real opportunity there.

There is no need for you to do any chasing. He’s gotten recent samples of the alternative menu, and possibly a chance to really get it together with you and see how it goes.

Maybe his wife will welcome the chance to get rid of him since she’s already got another guy and has been looking like the bad one in the relationship lately. Or, maybe this attraction of his to you will reignite her interest.

So, just take a deep breath in, and breathe out, and keep doing that as the world turns. Wait to see what happens on his end first before deciding on your next move.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love cats and dogs, but my new girlfriend says we can only meet at her place because animal hair, smell and feces in a litter box (even buried and on another floor of my house) turn her right off. She claims she has a particularly keen sense of smell.

She has only been to my place once and the house smelled great (I thought). The cats have their litter box in the basement and it’s cleaned regularly. The occasional dry dog poop in the yard doesn’t smell like anything.

I don’t know what to do. It’s been a long time since I met a woman as smart as I am, and as sexual. If I keep seeing her, I’ll have to get rid of my animals and never have any more for the rest of my life.

— Animal Lover, Westwood

Dear Animal Lover: Whoa, slow down! What’s wrong with having a little summer romance with her, a meeting of the minds and bodies, until she annoys you so much over her distaste for your animals and your house that you are quite happy to say thanks for the fun and end things? Not every relationship has to turn into something permanent. Sometimes, a short little romance is enough.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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