Nerd shows he knows how to woo

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/05/2018 (3063 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a nerdy guy, falling in love. I just want to tell the nerds out there who can’t get a girlfriend the secret to how I got my special girl. I showed her love before I ever dated her, and not with another girl. I showed her love for my cat who got lost and injured and couldn’t drag herself home. I enlisted friends who would help me to form a little posse to go out and find her. And I refused to give up, after most people drifted off during the first two nights.

After a whole week, I was getting desperate and the group was down to three people. We went out calling her again, down near the river. There was no wind. It was very quiet, and late that evening we heard a weak little sound. We found her in a bit of a hole under the roots of a tree with lots of dead leaves piled up. She cried a terrible sound as we gently pulled her out. She’d hurt her leg badly and she was very skinny.

My male buddy went home, but the last girl who’d stuck with me every night went to the vet with me. On the way home, she said in a funny voice, “You loved her, and you wouldn’t give up!” A few blocks later she said, “Pull over and stop the car.” I screeched to a halt. She said, “Undo your seatbelt. I need to kiss you.” It was the most beautiful kiss in the world. She told me I showed the kind of strong love that never gives up when things get tough.

I had grown to care about this girl too, but I’m not a hot-looking guy — kind of a nerd. I thanked her for sticking by me in my nightly search, and gently brushed her tears away with my thumbs. We have been together every day since, and it’s turning into something deep. I think we will be together for a long time.

— Nerd in Love, Wolseley

Dear Nerd in Love: Without knowing what you were doing, you showed a gutsy, determined, heroic spirit and a capacity for deep love, the kind that doesn’t give up when things look bleak. This young lady has the same kind of steadfast, gutsy internal makeup — and she really admires your character and is physically attracted, too. That’s big! You two will go a long way in love and life, and maybe you’ll do it together. Good luck to you both.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was waiting at the bus stop and met a man who started talking away as if he were an old friend. We sat on the bus together. I didn’t realize, until he was just about to get off the bus that he WAS an old friend, from junior high. He sure didn’t look anything like he did as a tall, skinny gangly kid, all arms and legs.

At the end, he smiled and said, “You don’t remember me, do you?” and I had to confess I didn’t. He said, as he was standing up, “I sat behind you in Grade 8 and corrected all your math homework. Did you ever see the notes I left you in the margins? Then I flashed on red pencil comments like “Smart!” and “Brilliant deduction!” I remembered, and flashed him a smile, as he got off the bus.

I looked him up on Facebook when I got home and there he was! It kind of looks like he’s single. I’m in my late 20s and so is he. My love life has totally sucked the last couple of years. Would it be too forward to request friendship on Facebook, and ask him out in a private message? He’s not a gangly kid anymore — and neither am I — and I can’t stop thinking about him.

— Grown Up & Looking for Fun, River Heights

Dear Looking: You have the perfect excuse to get in touch and ask him to go for coffee with you. Start by saying something like this: “I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you on the bus until it was too late, but you’d changed so much. I’d like to talk to you some more. Want to get together for a drink or coffee this week?”

You could have a lot of fun chatting on a patio or a cosy café. People want and need to make contact.

You don’t have to ask him if he’s seeing someone, until you’re well into the first conversation, and he hasn’t mentioned it yet. Just enjoy the reconnection, school gossip and catching up on your own grown-up life adventures since Grade 8.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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