The music’s over, now dump this guy

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/05/2018 (3039 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My sexy new love interest is crazy about music and has hooked up his whole place with speakers so there’s never a place that’s silent. You walk into the bathroom and watery music is playing softly. You push a button in the kitchen and there’s dance music and a tiled floor you can dance on.

He likes to take me for a whirl around the little dance floor, but he rudely shushes me if I talk and tells me to listen to the music.

At first, I was pretty enthralled with this guy. But soon I noticed he would shush me, no matter what the conversation, when one of his favourite songs came on. His addiction is worse than those stupid people who are glued to their phones when you’re trying to have lunch with them.

I asked him, “Is your music more important than listening to me?” He had the nerve to say, “Just a minute. I have to hear the end of this song. Then we’ll talk.”

I’m so mad! What do you think? — Shushed Again, Fort Rouge

Dear Shushed: His No. 1 priority is music, certainly not you. You don’t even have to ask. He’s probably not interested in anybody else either. Some people are deeply “in love” with their passions and interests, not humans.

Definitely pass on this guy with the music obsession. He’d be happier with a new addition to his sound system than a night of love with you in the finest bedchamber.

You are a human being — a speaking/thinking/loving system with a heart and soul and sensual body — and it’s just not that interesting to him.

So make your next words “bye-bye” if you can find a break between songs to squeeze them in. If not, try sign language. There are several universal signs that would get the message across. 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I came across a guy on a horse when I was driving out in the country near my cousins’ farm. He was riding with no shirt on — very hot day at 30 C — and he came galloping over the field towards me. I just stopped the car and watched.

OK, I gawked. I gestured for him to cross the road to the other field if he wanted and I’d wait (I just wanted to get a better look at him up close). He and his horse trotted right up to my car. 

We talked for a few minutes and he told me his name and pointed to where he lived. Then he asked me if I’d like to go for a ride with him.

I hate myself for this now, but I didn’t take the chance! He was young and good-looking, about my age, in his late teens, early 20s. I made some feeble excuse about not being dressed for it. He shrugged his tanned shoulders, smiled and crossed the road and took off across the field.

I was melting, but not from the sun. What was the matter with my head? Why can’t I ever take a chance? Nobody would have stolen my car and it could have been the romantic adventure of my life hanging onto that guy’s bare torso and riding like the wind.

When I got back to my cousins’ farm, they were amazed that I was so stupid. Both my girl cousins have crushes on this guy and I turned him down when he “wasn’t even wearing a shirt!” They just shook their heads and said,“City girls are afraid of everything.” Are they right? — Regretting it Now, Winnipeg

Dear Regretting: There is certainly a fear of “stranger danger” in the city and you seem to have internalized it deeply.

But, this was the country, near your cousin’s farm, and the young man was no doubt a neighbour.

He told you his name and showed you where he lived and invited you for a ride on a horse.

Sounds more thrilling than dangerous to me.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com  or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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