Put safety first when it comes to family visits

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/11/2020 (2146 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My ex-wife doesn’t want me to see our young daughter in person anymore because of the COVID-19 risk. I think it’s more about jealousy!

Six months ago I moved in with my new girlfriend, who has three kids and a big, close family who are always in each other’s houses. We live in the same part of Winnipeg as my wife, and she knows this family.

She says she doesn’t trust them to maintain safety protocols, such as wearing masks, and doesn’t want her visiting the house.

I’m very unhappy about this. I can’t deny the closeness of this big happy family and how affectionately they behave. I don’t know what to do! Please advise.

— Wanting My Daughter, St. Boniface

Dear Wanting: COVID-19 is temporary, but very serious, so go along with your wife’s wishes and see your daughter alone, wearing masks, sanitizing your hands and following protocols. When you’re at your new home, spend a lot of time on the phone and online with your daughter where she can see your face. Let your daughter communicate with the other kids all she wants. This is not her divorce.

But don’t forget that “safety first” is the rule here, no matter what custody looked like before COVID hit. Surely you can wait until your daughter has a vaccination before you introduce her to the risk of this larger family.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I feel so sorry for the guy whose wife wrote to say she was Trapped With What’s His Name. His wife says she loves him, but is sick of his face. (She says it’s because of COVID risk and the lockdown. —Miss L.)

I presume he still has the same face she first fell in love with. Every morning I look at a photo of my wife and say good morning to her. Unfortunately, I can no longer look at her actual face, as she died this year, after 68 years of love and companionship.

If this wife needs friends to hang out with so that she won’t be sick of his face, there is something wrong with her! There must be things they are both interested in that they can do together. Talk together and work it out!

— Call me Upset, Winnipeg

Dear Upset: I understand how you feel. I gave her a list of things she can do on her own, so she’s happier to see him coming back home, and not always thinking, “Oh, no! Here comes ‘What’s His Name.’”

She sounds cold to my ears, too. She may say she loves her husband, but she sure isn’t showing it when times are a bit tough. What does love mean to her — a place to live?

It’s one thing to say “I’m bored,” as so many people are during the lockdown, but quite another to say you are sick of seeing your mate’s face.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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