Stick to the rules, but make most of cosy Christmas

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/12/2020 (2113 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I live alone, follow all the rules, stay home a lot and don’t see anyone except my son occasionally. So I’m following the Rule of One. But he’s married and lives in the same building as his in-laws, and they see each other a lot. So, basically I see that whole family, through him!

I was going to try to have him and his wife over at Christmas for a brief visit, but the rule says one, not two. But if I see him, I’m basically seeing her as well, aren’t I? I’m confused and lonely. They are no good with technology.

— Living Alone, Winnipeg

Dear Living Alone: Instead of pining for a brief visit with both your son and his wife, this is the perfect excuse to have your son over alone for a late Christmas Day breakfast or early brunch.

If his wife’s family is putting on the Christmas dinner, and the young couple live in the same building, she’ll be expected to help with preparation.

Be the interested mom he remembers from growing up. His wife may be lovely, but there’s something special about being alone with your “kid” once in a while.

Cook his favourite foods, haul out all the old pictures of your family, including aunts, uncles, cousins and his old school pals. And take pictures — double selfies. Have a fun time! Things will change by next year. You may never have this privacy again with your son at Christmas time.

When he leaves, don’t cry and make him feel guilty. Let him know about your part 2. That’s when you crank up the music, get online and send out Christmas greetings to a list of people you have already compiled.

Also, phone closest friends for a quick Christmas chat — especially those you know who might be alone for Tiny Christmas 2020.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a good man two years ago, and let him go because I was just out of my abusive marriage and needed to get some help from a shrink.

I got really good help, and now I’m feeling just fine. I’ve regained my old self-confidence, lost my protective layer of fat and I’m ready to be fully alive again.

I was making out some early New Year’s resolutions and realized I wanted to put this guy I “let go” on my list of reconnections. The problem is I know how he suffered after I told him to forget “us.” Do you think I should take the chance and contact him again?

— Curious and Wondering, East Kildonan

Dear Wondering: Yes, you should always try to correct a mistake made in your romantic life, even if you find out the person doesn’t want to reconnect anymore. Just soothing his old wound by telling him how much you cared, but were unable to have a healthy, normal relationship at that time, could be very good for his self-esteem. People sometimes carry old wounds in their hearts, and if you can patch them up you should try to do that. And who knows? He might think about it for a bit, and be interested in giving “the new you” a try.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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