Fender bender with relative a chance to explore family tree

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This article was published 30/05/2021 (1951 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I got into a fender bender with a guy and when he got out, he looked just like me — could have been my brother. He couldn’t help but notice it, too. The damage was so minimal, he asked me if I’d like to just pay his garage or him, and I said sure.

We exchanged info and got to talking, and we are part of the same giant French Catholic family. It didn’t take long to figure out how we were related, though distantly.

I have never believed in fate, but my wife, who is always shuffling her tarot cards, is trying to convince me the meeting was meant to be. She says I should phone him up and we could both talk to him and his wife.

My woman is very friendly and outgoing. Do you think this is a dumb idea? Do you think he just gave me his phone number because of the fender?

— Shy Distant Cousin, St. Vital

Dear Shy Cousin: Don’t spend any more time ruminating over it. Nothing much is happening in COVID times, so why not take the opportunity to meet some new relatives? You and your wife can phone this fellow, and maybe it will be fun. What’s the worst that can happen?

Maybe the guy turns out to be not super friendly, or he just isn’t a phone guy and it’s awkward. But you can bet he told his wife about meeting you. If the conversation with him peters out quickly, ask him to put his wife on with yours. Your wife can tell his lady about this little accident with a relative “being in the cards!”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend — who lives with me now — keeps slapping my face for nothing. Not a hard slap, but she’s disrespecting me all the same. It feels like an invitation I don’t want. She has a certain look in her eye, like she’s turned on. She does it when she’s had a drink or two, and I think it excites her to upset me. I’m thinking she’s looking at me to sweep her up my arms and carry her off to the bedroom, for some play-fighting and passionate sex. But violence of any kind, doesn’t turn me on.

I’m a big, strong guy, but I’m not the dominating type. I’m more of a teddy bear. She didn’t come on like this before I invited her to move away from her parents to live at my place.

— Getting Really Nervous, St. Boniface

Dear Nervous: She needs to move back home with her parents before you’re pushed so far you do something you never wanted to do. She likes taunting you, because she knows you’re a gentle giant. She goes ahead and slaps you, to see if she can get you to lose your temper. One day you might. That could be a victory for her, but it’s not your way, and it’d feel terrible to you.

And, be aware of this: If she really sent you over the edge, and you hit her back and hurt her, she might just call the police.

You need a different kind of woman — a playful but kind, grown-up woman; the kind who wants and respects a big teddy-bear type. So make plans to get this slap-happy woman out, even if you have to call her parents ahead, so you know she has a place to go and she can’t tell you she hasn’t.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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