Hang up for good on chatty backyard charlatan

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 29/05/2021 (1952 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend started to sneak out and sit in the backyard of my little house after we made love. I noticed it after two nights. The third night he stayed over, I faked sleep after sex to see what he was doing. I peeked down from my bedroom window.

The big deck chair faced away from me on an angle and I could see over his shoulder to his open phone. I watched for about 30 minutes. He was talking to other women. I lost it. I went out there and dumped him out of the deck chair, threw his keys at him and told him to go home to check out other women!

Now he’s leaving me phone messages and swearing he was only talking to his female cousins. He says I’m totally overreacting. Am I?

— His Most Recent Ex, Wolseley

Dear Most Recent: Overreacting? He chats with a variety of “female cousins” after sex with you and he needs to get outside and out of hearing range for this? Only ladies who are as sneaky as he is want to talk to a guy as he’s hiding out in his girlfriend’s backyard late at night while she’s sleeping.

Block his calls. He’s anxious to talk you through this hiccup as he was getting real action with you — not just phone sex. Don’t fall for his nonsense.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Six years ago I met a beautiful young redhead I felt instantly “in lust” with, and I thought she was on board. I took her out on my boat and she was a great help in every way — even brought food and drinks.

My “separated” wife was jealous when she heard about this relationship and came back, so that was the end of that. I dropped the girlfriend and things went all right for my wife and me for five years. Now my wife has finally left me for a guy she says is “a better man in every way.” Gah!

I’d like nothing more than to repeat that summer I had with my redheaded sweetheart now my wife has left me for good. I hear through the grapevine this young lady is free right now. She was pretty upset when I went back to my wife, but I’d like to take another shot. What do you think my chances are?

— Free This Time, Westwood

Dear Free This Time: Your chances are poor, but the situation also depends on the beautiful redhead’s circumstances. If you were just a fun, summer boyfriend six years ago, she just might be up for another go. She certainly won’t be taking you seriously after what you did last time, but she does love your boat. That’s your best card to play in this game. Just don’t be surprised if she says something less than polite when you call!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m an older guy with a heart of gold and wallet to match. My wife died and I now have two lovely older women chasing me. I don’t really want either one of them beyond friendship, and I’m not sure what to do without being rude. One has been bringing baking and casseroles over during the pandemic and leaving them on my front step. I eat them, gladly. God knows I’m a lousy cook.

The other woman phones at night thinking I “might be lonely,” and I guess I am because I talk to her for 15-20 minutes before making excuses.

The point is I now want to be left alone by these two, but I don’t want to hurt their feelings. I can find my own woman when the time is right, but I’m still mourning my wonderful wife and I have to work that through before I start looking for someone new.

I even have an idea who I might be wanting one day, but she is working through her own loss. Her husband died a little after my wife. Meanwhile, what should I do about these women who seem so intent on getting me?

— Not Available, Tuxedo

Dear Not Available: You need to put out some gentle hints to let them down easy. Their only crime is liking you too much (and yes, your money might be attractive, too). You might say something to each of them like “I think of you as a very kind friend, but I need you to know I’m not looking for a replacement for my wife.” They may not swallow that entirely, but they’ll know you’re trying to discourage and back off somewhat.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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