Don’t dive blind into year-round lake life

Opinion

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This article was published 05/09/2021 (1499 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My young family and I spent the summer at a beautiful lake and I have fallen in love with it. I want to move to the town right beside it. My wife doesn’t feel the same yet. I could work from there virtually, but she’d need to get a job up there. Our kids don’t want to move from the city and lose their friends, but they’re in early grades and could adapt, right? We’ve been arguing about this a lot. Can you make any suggestions?

— Lake Lover, North End

Dear Lake Lover: Rather than disrupting life right now for your whole family, consider renting an insulated cabin for the off-season, and going up there regularly to get a feeling for the town when it’s not humming. You might find it dull and cold in late fall, winter and spring — or you might love it all the time.

Be diligent in your research. Ask a lot of questions of people who live there permanently. Find out about schools, medical services, stores, sports and arts in the area. If it turns out it’s just you who loves the place so much — and nobody else wants to move for good — consider renting from late June to September every year, or perhaps buying or building a cottage there.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband says he’s leaving me! We had a big fight when we were closing up the lake. He went beet red, yelling at me: “Go home, before I explode!” I could see the purple vein in his forehead sticking out.

He sounded like he was going to get violent again. He hit me about a year ago, but he was very, very sorry and begged for my forgiveness, so I didn’t leave him.

This time I just grabbed my bag and left. He didn’t come home until the next day. I was relieved. But, to my shock, when he finally got home, he said he was calling his lawyer and wants out of the marriage. He left very quickly. I was crying so hard. I yelled after him, “Where are you going?” and he said, “Somewhere I’m appreciated!” I watched him drive away in his truck.

My son came home a few hours later, and said he saw Dad’s truck parked at my girlfriend’s house. She’s divorced, and knows my marriage has also been in trouble. And she’s always fishing for dirty details about our love life. Then things started to fall into place — she’s really sexy-looking and my husband has always had an eye for her. That’s where he’s been going to get “appreciated!”

I phoned her repeatedly, but she wouldn’t pick up, so I drove over. His truck was nowhere in sight, and she had the curtains pulled shut and wouldn’t answer her doorbell, but her car was still there. Please help!

— Furious Wife, West End

Dear Furious: Don’t hang on just so your “friend” can’t get him to herself. Your husband wants out of the marriage and he’s been physically violent to you already. Recently, he’s been “ready to explode” again, and he’s now hinted boldly he has somebody else. So, why not let him exit the marriage?

Just be sure to get yourself a good divorce lawyer ASAP, and make sure you get a fair deal for you and your son. As for this “friend,” go ahead and tell her off, if it’ll make you feel better. If it’s any comfort, she already knows how your husband treated you, and given time, she’ll also be the target of his temper.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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