Serving jobs hard enough without harassment

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m an attractive woman in my late 20s, and have been working in the restaurant and bar industry the last nine years. I needed money to put me through two degrees, and now I’m finished and starting my career. I want to say this about being a server in Winnipeg: They still get hassled almost every single shift in certain places that serve an older crowd.

Read this article for free:


or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 10/10/2021 (1770 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m an attractive woman in my late 20s, and have been working in the restaurant and bar industry the last nine years. I needed money to put me through two degrees, and now I’m finished and starting my career. I want to say this about being a server in Winnipeg: They still get hassled almost every single shift in certain places that serve an older crowd.

I often had guys grab my arm, talk dirty, offer me money, proposition me in front of their friends and laugh at me when I was grossed out by them. Then they’d give me a terrible tip for not flirting back, some of them calling me a b***h and threatening to tell the manager I’m being rude. The list goes on.

Now I’m able to stop being hyper-alert at work and I enjoy my new job. I just want all the guys who have done this to serving staff before to know they will never have sex with their server! We will never go home with you! These men are often older, gross and clearly insane enough to behave like that — all the main traits of men I’d never sleep with.

My message to them is this: You are not the lead character in the story of planet Earth. Just sit down, eat your food and drink your drinks, and say please and thank you to the person waiting on you.

Serving the Truth, Winnipeg

Dear Serving the Truth: It’s sad things haven’t changed in some Winnipeg establishments. Most management now require respectful behaviour toward their staff, and bad customers are cut off and made to leave.

Some older customers remember the “bad old days” when they could easily get away with harassing or flirting with servers.

These unenlightened patrons are thankfully aging out of the bar scene, but there are still too many on the way up who don’t seem to have gotten the message. Hopefully your message will get through to them.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I bought an expensive black leather jacket this fall — my first one ever — and my wife is making fun of me for it, calling me a “biker wannabe.” I was always too shy to wear a leather jacket before, as I felt people would think it wasn’t “me” — a nerd — and I was pretending to be cool.

This may sound stupid and a bit juvenile, but buying this jacket meant a lot to me. Now she has made me have that awful feeling I felt so often as a child — embarrassment for who I am.

I suppose I should tell her, but she’s a strong woman and doesn’t take criticism well. Am I in over my head? Should I just toss the jacket to avoid more shame?

Deeply Angry, South Winnipeg

Dear Angry: The person closest to you can wield the sharpest knife. Your wife no doubt knows something of your childhood shyness and insecurity. She should be happy for you, not scornful. She’s probably the one with the self-image problem now.

Ask her why she’s feeling the need to cut you down in such a nasty way. Say you’ll wait for her answer if she can’t think of it right away.

My guess? You can be sure it has something to do with aging, self-image and how she thinks she looks beside you. She may have been comfortable with looking like a plain, older, matched pair, but now you’re daring to step up. Her knee-jerk reaction? She put you down so you’d be cowed into shelving the new jacket. Do not bend!

You might even offer to buy her something beautiful in leather, like a vest which is flattering to any body shape, and can be found in many colours other than black. In the meantime, start wearing the jacket proudly when you out go alone — or with her.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Icy relationship with U.S. beginning to thaw at border, data shows; American visits to Manitoba hit five-year high

Nicole Buffie 5 minute read Preview

Icy relationship with U.S. beginning to thaw at border, data shows; American visits to Manitoba hit five-year high

Nicole Buffie 5 minute read Thursday, Aug. 13, 2026

As Canadians begin to lower their elbows and start to cross the U.S. border again, Americans are coming to Manitoba in numbers not seen in years.

Read
Thursday, Aug. 13, 2026

Meetings accomplish something that an email never could while respecting people’s time, building relationships

Tory McNally 6 minute read Preview

Meetings accomplish something that an email never could while respecting people’s time, building relationships

Tory McNally 6 minute read 3:00 AM CDT

There are few workplace experiences that unite employees quite like complaining about meetings. Ask almost anyone what frustrates them at work, and somewhere on the list will be the meeting that could have been an email. We’ve all been there. Thirty minutes scheduled for a simple update somehow turns into an hour. Half the attendees don’t need to be there. Someone shares their screen for ten minutes trying to find the right document. The meeting ends with everyone wondering what was actually decided.

It’s no surprise that organizations are looking for ways to reduce meeting fatigue. Every hour spent in a meeting is an hour that isn’t spent serving customers, solving problems, writing reports, or completing projects. As calendars become increasingly crowded, employees often find themselves working longer days simply to catch up on the work they couldn’t accomplish because they were in meetings.

The obvious solution seems simple: hold fewer meetings. In many cases, that’s exactly the right answer. Routine updates, policy reminders, project status reports, and information that doesn’t require discussion can often be shared through email and chat platforms. Not every piece of information deserves everyone’s calendar.

But eliminating meetings altogether would create a different problem, especially as more organizations embrace hybrid and remote work.

Read
3:00 AM CDT

Big-business bromance lacks bite

Reviewed by Alan MacKenzie 3 minute read Preview

Big-business bromance lacks bite

Reviewed by Alan MacKenzie 3 minute read 3:00 AM CDT

If a work of fiction is titled after its main characters, it would be expected that the characters, or the relationship between them, is somewhat interesting, unique or profound.

Sadly, that is not the case with Alexander Starritt’s Drayton and Mackenzie.

Taking place mostly between the housing market crash that kicked off in 2007 and the COVID pandemic — but ultimately covering the entire lives of the titular duo — the novel follows James Drayton and Roland Mackenzie as they create and run renewable energy business off the coast of Scotland.

James and Roland first meet at Oxford, where they are both on the rowing team. Neither is that excited about the sport, nor do they make much of an impact on each other. But they meet again years later, when James is working for McKinsey, a real-life multinational consulting firm, and Roland has returned from an unintended year-long excursion to India. Inexplicably, they start a business together.

Read
3:00 AM CDT

August in the kitchen garden

Colleen Zacharias 7 minute read Preview

August in the kitchen garden

Colleen Zacharias 7 minute read 3:00 AM CDT

Lynne Hermiston is passionate about growing her own food. Her backyard food garden in south Winnipeg is an amazing example of the abundance and diversity of food that can be grown in a relatively small space. But it’s also a prime example of how a zest for learning innovative methods can make food gardening more fun.

Hermiston’s backyard is approximately 10 metres wide and 15 metres deep. The growing area consisting of raised beds and a couple of in-ground beds between her deck and back fence is about nine metres deep. There is not a single blade of turf grass in sight. The design for this attractive and productive space was created by Classic Landscaping four years ago. A series of raised wooden beds mulched with straw are neatly arranged on a light grey, slate-like surface. An inviting centre arbor acts as a focal point and supports climbing plants. The square-shaped raised-bed area receives eight to nine hours of sun daily. It is flanked on one side by a long, linear-shaped bed, planted with flowering perennials that attract and support pollinators.

The food plants Hermiston is growing this summer include tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, beets, chickpeas, beans, onions, sweet potatoes, horseradish, garlic, peppers, carrots, pumpkin and cauliflower. She is growing Chinese Pink celery, an heirloom variety with bubblegum-pink stems, for the first time, as well as eggplant.

She also grows salad greens and herbs, which have made delicious additions to her summer recipes this year. Only a few harvests remain of the spinach she planted. But, compared to last year’s growing season, some food plants are taking their time, Hermiston says.

Read
3:00 AM CDT

City Lego seller continues to build up its business

Gabrielle Piché 4 minute read Preview

City Lego seller continues to build up its business

Gabrielle Piché 4 minute read Updated: Yesterday at 8:54 AM CDT

Brick by brick, a Winnipeg Lego seller is building its third expansion — in less than two years.

Read
Updated: Yesterday at 8:54 AM CDT

Development turning long-vacant gas station in Selkirk into commercial hub

By Tiago Resko 2 minute read Preview

Development turning long-vacant gas station in Selkirk into commercial hub

By Tiago Resko 2 minute read Thursday, Aug. 13, 2026

A plot of land that has sat vacant in Selkirk for 30 years is being redeveloped to host new businesses in the heart of the city.

The former gas station site on Main Street — between Rosser and Pacific avenues — will be turned into a commercial hub that will be home to six local businesses, and will be a big stepping stone for economic growth in Selkirk, Mayor Larry Johannson said Thursday.

“For decades this site has been a reminder of what once was. Today, it represents what is possible when investors see the potential of our community and choose to be a part of its future,” he said in a news release announcing the project and Thursday’s groundbreaking.

“This development reflects confidence in Selkirk, our economy and the direction we are heading.”

Read
Thursday, Aug. 13, 2026