She didn’t learn those new moves from books

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 08/01/2016 (3557 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My long-time partner went on a work trip overseas and came home a changed woman. She wants sex all the time and in different ways than we’ve ever done it before. I asked her where all this came from, and she said she was bored on her trip so she read sex books. I asked where they were and she mumbled that they were “too heavy to bring home.” I did a little Internet snooping and discovered she has a “friend” in the country where she went for work, and it’s a good-looking man.

Here’s the deal: I love her and don’t want to lose her. I have not been exactly true myself. I’ve never “made love” to anyone else but her, or said the words “I love you” to any other person, but I have had recreational sex here and there. Do I have any right to preach to her about being untrue to me on this trip? It is tearing me up inside.

— Hurt and Messed Up, Downtown

Dear Hurt and Messed Up: No, you can’t preach, but you do have a right to say you are feeling hurt and jealous about this overseas guy and apologize for snooping. That’s not technically true, as you snooped because you needed to know what was going on, but you are certainly sorry you snooped and ended up seeing this guy’s face.

Considering your background, it’s not fair to boot her out of your life because you’re guilty of cheating, too. It’s time to confess your indiscretions and offer an “open live-in relationship” to her. She may or may not want that and you are taking the chance she will opt out altogether. Counselling would be in order as this is complicated.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography