Girlfriend of nine years deserves commitment

Miss Lonelyhearts By: Miss Lonelyhearts Posted:

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think my girlfriend might be pregnant and hiding it from me. She hasn’t had a period for a few months. I even stooped so low as to check her tampon supply — it’s bare. We have been together nine years and I know she would like to get married and have kids more than anything. For the first five, I really wanted to marry her, but she said she was too young. Then we had a bad stretch and she found another guy behind my back. After a lot of crap and agony, we went to a counsellor and got past it, but somehow I didn’t trust her enough to marry her and have a baby I might lose if we ever broke up again.

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/08/2016 (3706 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think my girlfriend might be pregnant and hiding it from me. She hasn’t had a period for a few months. I even stooped so low as to check her tampon supply — it’s bare. We have been together nine years and I know she would like to get married and have kids more than anything. For the first five, I really wanted to marry her, but she said she was too young. Then we had a bad stretch and she found another guy behind my back. After a lot of crap and agony, we went to a counsellor and got past it, but somehow I didn’t trust her enough to marry her and have a baby I might lose if we ever broke up again.

Two of her friends are pregnant right now and there is a lot of talk about baby showers and baby clothes. At first my girlfriend seemed sad, but now she’s strangely not sad at all. It is not beyond her to lie, and keep something from me, is it? Last night I asked her if she was pregnant and she faked a shocked look and said, “What would make you say that?” followed up with, “What would you do if I were?” I said I didn’t know and would have to think about it. That’s where you come in. What should I say? — Maybe a Daddy, West End

Dear Maybe a Daddy: Nine years? It’s time you had a big think about taking a chance with the woman you obviously love. It’s time to say: “I know we’ve had some problems, but I also know I love you and want to be together. I suspect something is going on, like maybe you would be happy if you were pregnant. Is that the case?” Wait for her answer. Then tell her you love her and want to have a baby together, either now or later. This is your make-it or break-it year.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a city girl who just spent a month living at a cabin and commuting to work. My boyfriend thinks I’m nuts. He hates travelling to my cabin every weekend. I’m toying with living out here year-round, but haven’t told him in case I hate the country once the summer crowd leaves. Plus, there’s a guy out here I really like and I know he likes me, too. He does a lot of handyman work and is muscled. He looks like a guy straight out of a country music video. Right now he’s mowing my lawn in jeans and a cowboy hat. What do you think I should do? — Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy? Lake Winnipeg

Dear Save a Horse: You’ve already backed off your city boyfriend emotionally, and owe it to him to let him go. He’s not the one. You’re not interested in sharing a city lifestyle with him, and he’s been reduced to the Weekend Guy, driving in and out to see you. Then see how it goes with the cowboy and the cabin people leaving, change of seasons and the roads when the snow falls. You may love it or you may hate it. Whatever you do, be honest with the boyfriend, right now. Take a chance on change and a new lifestyle, girlfriend!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
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Miss Lonelyhearts

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Girlfriend of nine years deserves commitment

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I think my girlfriend might be pregnant and hiding it from me. She hasn’t had a period for a few months. I even stooped so low as to check her tampon supply — it’s bare. We have been together nine years and I know she would like to get married and have kids more than anything. For the first five, I really wanted to marry her, but she said she was too young. Then we had a bad stretch and she found another guy behind my back. After a lot of crap and agony, we went to a counsellor and got past it, but somehow I didn’t trust her enough to marry her and have a baby I might lose if we ever broke up again.

Two of her friends are pregnant right now and there is a lot of talk about baby showers and baby clothes. At first my girlfriend seemed sad, but now she’s strangely not sad at all. It is not beyond her to lie, and keep something from me, is it? Last night I asked her if she was pregnant and she faked a shocked look and said, “What would make you say that?” followed up with, “What would you do if I were?” I said I didn’t know and would have to think about it. That’s where you come in. What should I say? — Maybe a Daddy, West End

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