Confession on fishing trip a real whopper

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This article was published 16/08/2016 (3701 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a guy who’s a little on the sensitive side, but definitely heterosexual. I went fishing with an old friend of mine, and in the middle of my latest big fishing story, he said he loved me. I think he meant it, as in “I love you,” but when I suddenly went very quiet, he quickly said, “Uh, er, you know, as a buddy.”

I quickly started talking again, getting back to my nonsense fishing story, and we went on fishing for a bit. Then we cut bait and went back to our cabins. Now I don’t know what to do or say about this. We’re both married men, and both to women.

— Shocked By Confession, Winnipeg

Dear Shocked by Confession: You don’t have to say or do anything because he tested out his feelings on you. It’s a love feeling he has and he wanted to know if you felt it, too. But you didn’t. Just as in hetero situations, if one or the other person doesn’t say I love you back, then it’s awkward for a bit and you have to re-evaluate the situation. If just one person vetoes the romantic thing, it’s still a friendship, with one person wishing it could be more. You don’t have to dump him as a friend because he might have wished he could up the ante to a different kind of relationship. He might decide to see less of you, though, if it hurts.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is a silly old girl and I like her just the way she is. Recently, she has begun tarting herself up — dieting, exercise, walking and even running. She got herself a new hairdo, got rid of the grey, paid for a full makeup session with an expert and keeps buying newer, smaller clothes. She’s so secretive I don’t about her personal life at all. I don’t know if she’s after some new guy or she’s already seeing him, but something is up. If I come into the kitchen and she’s on the phone, she hangs up on any excuse. My mother is in her late 50s and looks 45 these days.

Up to now she has had very poor taste in men, but she’s been seeing a shrink and I think she may be trying again. I want to say to her, “Don’t worry about me. I can be conveniently out any evening and stay over at my girlfriend’s house gladly,” but my mom might find it strange having her own son saying she can have the house for a night of private fun. How should I handle this? By the way I am 35 with a good job, but back home for now after a bad marriage. But, I already have a wonderful new girlfriend who looks like she might be the one.

— Son Who Gets It, West Kildonan

Dear Son Who Gets It: Maybe it’s time you got the many hints and just boomeranged right out of that house again. It’s time to get your own place so your mom doesn’t have to ask permission to have the house alone for her lover to come over for some adult time. But don’t rush into living with your girlfriend. Just get a nice little place for yourself to give your mom her freedom back. Don’t make her have to come right out and ask you to leave.

I’m betting she didn’t make you beg when you wanted to come back home to live, but she probably didn’t expect you to stay too long either.

Look for a place ASAP, thank Mama profusely with a grownup gift of money for rent, and be on your way to your new digs. Then she can call her new guy up and have him over for a long overdue candlelight dinner at her place.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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