Annoying habits need to change

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This article was published 28/08/2016 (3667 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Readers: Some of the angriest complaints I get come from people who can’t stand their housemates’ annoying habits. The complaints are about people of all ages, from kids to teenagers to adults. Here are a few recent letters with explanations for what’s going on, my suggestions for getting some bad behaviours stopped and what to do if they won’t stop. — Miss L.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hate my boyfriend’s habit of sucking his teeth. He just started it this summer. I don’t know why he does it, but it will be the end of us if he doesn’t stop. He especially likes to do it after a big meal. I yell at him, “Go brush your teeth and quit sucking them!” He says I’m being petty. He has some spaces between his front four teeth so he can really get on my nerves. How do I get him to stop? — Going Up The Wall, Wolseley

Dear Going Up The Wall: In some cultures, teeth sucking has meaning — usually a negative reaction to what somebody near them is doing, but for some people in this country, it’s generally just people who think they might get a partial job done without brushing their teeth. It’s not a petty crime when someone continues with a habit their close friend or housemate finds disgusting, it’s an in-your-face expression of not caring how you feel. Dump this guy! How long would you stick around someone who was scratching a blackboard with his nails? Why are you sticking around for this teeth-sucking nonsense he refuses to stop?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My family says I’m a nag. “Nag, nag, nag. That’s all you do!” they say. My husband tunes me out just like our teenagers do. I have to tell him again and again to get in the car when we’re going somewhere he wants to go. He doesn’t drive. You would think he’d be more attentive when he wants a ride somewhere. I end up begging him to go out and get in the vehicle.

I know I’m guilty of nagging. I get after the kids to put their clothes in the hampers provided and shut the lids, so their rooms don’t stink like dirty socks and underwear. What am I supposed to do? — The Nagger, St. Vital

Dear Nagger: There are two ways to show the family things have changed for good. First, formally announce the big change. “I will only ask once and there will be consequences if people don’t respond. Some consequences will show up right away and others will accumulate.” (Be a little mysterious.)

For a laundry fix, take the kids downstairs and give them a full laundry lesson, and show them all the supplies. Then let things pile up in their rooms until there’s absolutely nothing to wear, and don’t offer to help. Let their rooms get stinky. Why should you care?

If the smell permeates the rest of the house, you can take all the dirty clothes to the back porch or garage in big clear garbage bags so the house will smell lovely again. The teenagers can go out there, find their clothes and bring them in to wash. Don’t sort one kid’s clothes from the others and don’t be cranky about it, just enjoy your nice-smelling home and the clean laundry room where you and your husband can wash your clothes any time you want.

As for your husband, tell him it’s time to get in the car once, or you’re going for a walk. If he keeps on sitting around, put the keys down and go for a walk around the block and out of his sight. Let him look around the house and down the block for you. Now he’s not leaving when he feels like it, but when you feel like it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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