Big, burly man wants to be treated like a big baby

Opinion

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This article was published 26/11/2016 (3244 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is embarrassing — my man likes me to pretend he’s a baby. His old girlfriend used to do this for him and he liked it for some odd reason that probably had to do with his not having a mother around when he was young. His dad didn’t fuss over him, and his father’s favourite line was: “Grow up. Do it yourself.” We are already living together — it happened very quickly — and I am just finding things out about the babying and coddling.

I don’t mean my man wants a soother, at least I don’t think so! I do know he wants me to talk sweetie-pie baby talk to him and pack his lunch in a kid’s lunch pail, which he jokes about with his friends like it’s all my idea and I’m being funny. He likes me to do his laundry and match and roll his socks like you do for little kids. This guy is no wimp: he’s a big bruiser of a blue-collar man, so these requests first came as a shock to me.

And there are some possible rewards. For instance, he has just announced he wants to give me a credit card to have fun with. What do you think? I’m suspicious. — Paid Mommy? Downtown

Dear Paid Mommy: This man knows he’s kinky and wants to even things out by giving you treats that give you pleasure. The credit card does smack of being paid, if you want to look at it that way, and in the future he may want you to use it to buy baby things for him. Or, he may be so grateful to you for indulging his desires, he just wants to make your life more fun.

You need to find out now how far he really wants to go with the babying. In the future, he may want to proceed to dressing like a baby, wearing diapers and having them changed. If giant onesies and diapers are in your future with this man, you might want to back off.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Loneliness is the opposite of my problem. I go to university and live in a three-bedroom apartment with two roommates to a room. There is no privacy. We are all poor students and none of us can afford privacy. I made this blanket tent that goes over my bed, so my roommate can’t see me and I can’t see her when I’m in there changing, reading, doing whatever or sleeping. Both ends are open for air.

She is a foreign student. Today she asked me why I didn’t want to look at her or talk to her and she was crying. I felt bad and guilty. I tried to explain the concept of privacy, but she’s from another country and didn’t get it. What should I do? — Big Meanie, University of Winnipeg

Dear Big Meanie: Now you know you’re insulting your poor roommate, you must feel uneasy about your tent use, though you may still want to use it. It’s time to look for another living situation after Christmas where you can have your own tiny little bedroom. Go to student housing and inquire now. You are a person who needs bedroom privacy other than hiding under a tent over your bed, and your roommate also needs someone who is more sociable.

Either find a totally new place, or switch roomies with someone else in the apartment who wants to make a tent like yours or who doesn’t find it insulting if you string a curtain down the middle of the room. Things can’t stay the same, as you are hurting someone and now feeling uneasy yourself, or you wouldn’t be writing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a friend who is a hunter and fancies himself an exotic chef. He likes to invite people over people to serve them exotic meat, fish or birds he has killed. I don’t trust what he serves. He finds it fun to introduce people to things they thought they would never eat, although he does tell them what each thing is ahead of serving it. I think he’s weird in the head.

I told my boyfriend today I’m never going to this friend’s house for another strange-game dinner night. He says he’ll go on his own. I said, “Fine!” We’re at an impasse. The next dinner party is in two weeks. Should I hold the line? — Blech, Fort Rouge

Dear Blech: Yes, hold the line, but be pleasant about the pheasant or whatever was on the menu when you see your guy and he wants to talk about it. Let him chat about the excitement of the dinner and make sure he brushes his teeth.

There will be things you will want to go to that he wants to opt out of if you become a long-term couple. Welcome the freedom to pursue unique interests on both sides without being insulting to each other. The best couples do things together and also apart and remain happily intriguing to each other.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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