Nothing straight about this blind date

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/11/2016 (3597 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man on a blind date set up by my well-meaning boss’s wife. The guy they were trying to set me up with is a gay man, but nobody knows. He confessed his sexual preference to me partway through dinner and said he was very sorry. I almost choked on my wine, but he didn’t want to tell his boss or his wife. This guy is the most masculine-looking, virile, sporty kind of man you could ever meet — he looks like a football player. He is single right now, but he’s looking for another masculine-looking male.

It wasn’t funny, but we kind of laughed about it as the evening went on. Then he asked me what I thought of my boss’ wife and their marriage. He said, “I think she’d like to hook up with me herself, but can’t because she’s married.” Wouldn’t it be good for her marriage if she knew the truth and could forget about this hunk who is not the least interested in women? Should I secretly tell her?

— Itching to Set Her Straight, Winnipeg

Dear Itching to Set Her Straight: Zip it! It’s not your secret to tell and this man obviously doesn’t want anyone to know. If your boss’s wife ever comes on to him, he can tell her himself, or just tell her to forget it because she’s married. Aren’t you just mad because you were attracted by the “hunk” she pushed on you and then found out he was gay and wasn’t interested in you?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am crazy about this woman who works on the floor below me. I hear she knows of my feelings through one of my gossipy friends.

I think — though it may be wishful thinking — she is trying to attract me further by wearing low-cut sweaters over her generous breasts. Very generous. I can’t think straight for an hour after I run into her. What if I am just dreaming and she can’t stand me? What am I supposed to do? I know workplace romances are a bad idea, but tell that to my body.

— Terrible Situation, Winnipeg

Dear Terrible Situation: I could tell you to steer clear, but we already know you’re on a collision course with that curvaceous woman, if she’s willing. Talk to the apple of your eye and hint about going out on a date. If she seems interested, ask her for a dinner out. And wait a bit longer on the sexual front — it can’t be any harder than thinking about asking her out every single day and doing nothing about it!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m down in the basement closet with the door open a crack and just the light of my phone. I am so sick of living in this house with my mother and her boyfriend! He’s a slob, he stinks, he leaves dishes everywhere and never changes his socks. My mother thinks he’s adorable. I would like to go live with my dad, but his new wife has small kids. I would be stuck babysitting all the time. I’m 16 and an A-plus student and study a lot. It’s my dream to become a research scientist. What do you suggest for me?

— Crying in the Closet, South Winnipeg

Dear Crying in the Closet: I’m guessing you’re in Grade 11 with a year and half to go before university. Imagine living in university residence with a bunch of other young people, instead of a lonely existence at home. That takes planning. Go online and research the best universities for your subject areas in Canada. Next, look up the thousands of bursaries and scholarships you can apply for and what you have to do to qualify for them. Usually, it requires some charity and/or community work you need to start now. Also, alert your guidance counsellors and teachers so they can help.

Once you get this dream-in-action happening, things will begin to fall into place. There may be a college fund from your parents and grandparents often have a little something to add, but don’t let them buy you. Stick to your guns about living in a residence so you can correct your lonely living situation.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography