Present to nasty neighbour could thaw icy heart

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This article was published 09/12/2016 (3588 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live in a house beside this nasty old lady. She is mean to everyone on the street and all the kids are scared of her. They say she is witch but she’s not, she’s just crusty, cranky and has a croaky voice, probably from not speaking to anyone. She lives alone and the neighbours give her a wide berth. I was thinking I might give her something for Christmas — a card, a little gift and some baking. My kids think I’m nuts, but I don’t think I am. Do you? — The Do-Gooder, Downtown

Dear Do-Gooder: It’s a good idea, as long as you do it without expecting gratitude. Just give for the sake of giving. Someone who is alone and acts crusty is probably somewhat paranoid of people and deserves privacy to pick up her card and gift from her step. The card could have a coloured envelope so she isn’t scared it’s a bill, and should have her name on it and “Season’s greetings from your neighbour” printed in big letters. The gift should be small and wrapped brightly so she can clearly see it’s something festive and for her. Anchor it in the snow so it can’t blow away and put it where she can clearly see it out her door. Good luck with this sweet, neighbourly gesture.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a teenage daughter who acts like I did when I was her age — rotten. She hears all these stories from my sisters and she knows all the trouble I was in. Why is she copying me? She throws it in my face, saying to me, “Well you did it, and worse!” I have no response to that, except to tell her not to be as stupid as I was. There’s a lot she doesn’t know about, including a baby I had and gave away. How can I warn her against the heartache stupid teenagers can cause themselves? Should I tell her the whole truth? — Worried Bad Mother, Winnipeg

Dear Worried Bad Mother: It might be good to tell her, not in an angry way, about your real life as a teenager, the difficulties you faced at home and at school and the pregnancy. Tell her how much that hurt and how you want her to take a different path and not to try to out-dare you to impress you and her buddies. She may want to search for her sibling and that might be something you could do together when the timing is right. Use a new voice with your daughter. She may also need someone else to talk to, such as a guidance counsellor from school. Inquire about that and at Klinic’s 24 hour line 204-786-8686 and walk-in free counselling (204-784-4067 for hours).

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read about the man tossed out by the wife who has a pet addiction. I’m thinking the unconditional love she gets is her drug. More dogs, more love. The husband didn’t explain how or why all these dogs ended up living with them. Have you ever been to a home with that many dogs? Well it stinks, there’s hair everywhere with barking, slobbering, fighting and dogs at your feet constantly. If he’s smart, he’ll move on. She, however, needs counselling for this addiction. Imagine choosing dogs over a husband. — Too Many Dogs, Winnipeg

Dear Too Many Dogs: In the letter from Kicked Out of My Own House, the husband said he was giving away two of his wife’s three dogs, so she had to choose the one to keep. The husband was the problem, trying to give away her beloved pets who may feel like her children to her, but you seem to think the main issue here is her choice of pets over him, a human. It was more likely the shocking statement that her husband was forcing her to get rid of her dogs. There are some spouses who turn out, in the end, to be much less loving than one’s pets.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to comment about the woman called What To Do? who met the funny man who later swung by her house without calling. Dimes to doughnuts he’s married or has a girlfriend, and this swing-by was for you-know-what. He may have been tipsy and saw an opening, and rather than being told no if he called, he felt he could talk her into it with his charm. — Not Prince Charming, Winnipeg

Dear Not Prince Charming: It was extremely bold and rude of him to drop in, and yes, it sounded like a liquor-fuelled attempt to get in the door and get some hoochie coochie.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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