Hippie Gran makes her feel like a nerd

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/07/2018 (2992 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Well, here’s a little problem I never expected. I moved into my grandma’s house in the spring after my parents moved out of town. I’m a university student and wanted to stay at my school in the city.

I didn’t realize my divorced Gran was still dating, or that sometimes, her gentlemen friends stayed over or she slept at their places.

Gran is an old hippie. I always knew that much, but I didn’t understand she also smokes weed and enjoys some Southern Comfort while listening to her music, such as Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix.

Well, she came in all excited to tell me tie-dyes were back in fashion and she had bought some shirts and a long dress in brilliant colours.

Suddenly, I’m the nerd student with the wild grandma!

I don’t want to go tattling to her daughter, but this isn’t at all what I expected when Mom settled me in here, secure in the fact her mother was keeping an eye on me.

The thing is, I don’t feel comfortable with the door to the basement — where my room is — not having a lock on it. Should I ask my grandma first, or just have my boyfriend put it on?

By the way, I’m not complaining. I didn’t even have to ask Gran if I could have my guy stay over. She just assumed he would, and he’s really handy and repairs things for her.

— To Ask or Not, Fort Rouge

Dear To Ask Or Not: When Gran is going to be out, have your handy boyfriend put a nice new lock on the basement door and give a key to Gran when she comes back home.

Tell her you’re not worried about her coming downstairs, but need the feeling of privacy when your boyfriend comes over.

Keep it as simple as that.

The laundry room might be downstairs, and it’s her house, so she absolutely needs a key.

While you’re at it, have your boyfriend put a lock on your bedroom door, too.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Growing up, I fantasized about all the milestones I would hit with my future boyfriend/husband.

My 20s had plenty of relationships, but nothing long-term enough that marriage would even be considered.

I turned the corner on 30 last year and am still single. I decided it was time to move forward with my life goals, even if I didn’t have a man in my life, because I’m a strong, independent woman.

I recently bought a house, and what I should have felt was pride, but instead I only felt disappointment. Disappointment that I didn’t have someone to share the experience with and disappointment in myself for feeling that way.

The past year has been a routine of waking up, going to work and coming home from the office to an empty house. I have a cat to fill the void, but it still doesn’t feel like enough, so I’ve been considering getting a dog.

I don’t know how to handle these feelings because by all accounts, society says I should be proud of myself. Instead, I’m just miserable.

Please help.

— Strong Independent Woman who DOES need a man, Kilcona

Dear Strong Independent Woman: You are on the right track, but need to do a lot more socializing.

Let me tell you about the golden summer that brought my female roommate and I serious relationships in our 30s. We started that summer as a lark and did everything to make it fun. We rented a house with a pool and then took in male English language students — funny younger guys who made us laugh. We arranged all kinds of little swimming parties around the pool — dinner parties, Sunday brunches and a very big birthday party for me.

By the end of the summer, when all we wanted to do was have fun and share that joy with other people, I was with the guy I would later marry and my roomie was with a guy who became a longtime partner.

So, get yourself a sociable roommate or two — someone to share the laughter and considerable work that comes with a busy social life. Then, have yourselves a ball. There is nothing like happiness and generosity of spirit to attract people.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography