Stay away from wife’s seductive mom

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This article was published 25/07/2018 (2990 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve been having a problem with my seductive mother-in-law who is married, but still a cougar. I’m about 10 years older than my wife and her mom seems to think I’m fair game. She has a useless husband who never comes up to the lake with her. The man is a wuss, but I suspect he’s stepping out in the city. You can’t blame her for choosing a bad husband, a decision made when she was a pregnant teenager.

Because it’s summer, my wife and I have been invited to their cabin every second weekend and my wife loves to go. The problem is her mom lies in wait for me on the sundeck, like a black widow spider. If her daughter doesn’t come out of the cabin with me, the mother asks me to put oil on her back, pour her another “drinkie” or talk about something risqué from one of her celebrity gossip magazines.

I told my bride I thought her mother was flirting with me, and she said, “Oh, she’s harmless, pay no attention to her.” Right! Last weekend her mother went a step too far. She took her top off to tan in front of me and then slowly turned on her stomach. I told her to put her bra back on, and asked her: “Do you have no respect for your daughter, displaying yourself to me like that?”

I walked back to the cabin and told my wife what she had done. “We’re going home,” I said. “Your mother is sexually harassing me.” My wife saw the determined look in my eyes and started packing. Just before we left, my wife went out to the deck and told her mother off!

Now everybody’s on the outs, but I know my wife will always love her mother. What do you think I should do? I don’t want to go back to that cabin, ever.

— Victim of Mother-In-Law, Winnipeg

Dear Victim: You’re right to stay away from the cabin for a few visits. Welcome your wife to go on her own. You staying away will make a serious statement to both of these women. In the meantime, look for a cabin you and your wife can rent on your own. You two need to build your own independent summer life.

In mid-August, you might go with your wife to her mom’s cabin for a daytime visit. That will indicate you have reached some kind of peace, but are not going to fall back into the same routine. She has a husband who doesn’t come up, and she’ll have to deal with that situation if she doesn’t want to be lonely. Or she can invite her own friends to the lake.

Mom has shown herself to be untrustworthy with her daughter’s husband.

There are consequences.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It’s hard to know what to do with a woman who’s banging on my door every day with baked treats. I am a widower the last six months and too lonely to turn down company. This lady lost her husband two years ago, so she’s over it. She’s made it no secret that she is determined to have me.

Yesterday, as we settled down to eat some brownies, she let it drop that she misses the “physical closeness” she used to have with her husband. I am in my early 80s but my young man’s mind — still alive and well inside my head — was saying, “Well then, get those clothes off honey, and let’s get at it!” I didn’t say that, of course. I don’t know what to do. I’m still capable of having sex, but she’s not my first choice for a girlfriend.

My first choice is my best buddy’s wife, and he’s in the hospital forever now. His wife is too respectful to get involved with anyone while he’s still alive, but I must admit I really want her, as a friend and lover. In the meantime, am I a fool for not getting sexually involved with the baker? I don’t know how long my friend in the hospital may continue to live.

— Too Late To Be Fussy? North Kildonan

Dear Fussy: At a certain age, it’s tempting to “live for today,” especially when it comes to affection and sex and you are feeling lonely. How do you know that when your friend passes away his wife will want to be with you? How friendly are you with your friend’s wife now? Do you go for coffee or do anything besides meet at the hospital? Maybe you should ask her for coffee, drop a few broad hints and find out what she thinks.

She may stab you with the nearest utensil, but if she hesitates and looks like she’ll talk about it at some point, you may have a chance.

Think abut this: if you started up a romance with the baker, using her for sex and companionship until the other woman’s husband passes away, would the new widow want to step in or would she find that totally distasteful? I’m guessing she would, but one never knows. Loneliness is a deeply painful thing.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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