Funny wife’s secret admirer no laughing matter

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This article was published 20/10/2018 (2907 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife is a funny lady. I never thought a thing about her laughing and joking with everyone. All the guys at work really like her when she comes around. This summer, we had a lot of people from work over for barbecues. She’s a stay-at-home mom, by choice.

Now that barbecue season is over, one of the single guys who came over a lot has been asking after her casually — but suspiciously. Last Friday he asked again and I said, “What’s the matter, pal? You got a crush on my wife?” He said nothing and turned away. I think I heard him mutter, “You should treat her better.” Hey, it’s not my fault she likes to wait on me. I don’t ask her to.

I went home and asked her about this guy and she said, “That’s interesting information, darling, but he doesn’t mean anything to me.” Now, I’m getting suspicious. Do you think anything’s going on? 

— Got The Wind Up, Fort Garry

Dear Got The Wind Up: If he actually had a relationship with her, he could call her directly while you’re at work. He wouldn’t have to ask you how she’s doing.

In fact, he probably does have a crush on her. That can happen, but attractive married people who want to keep their marriages are goaltenders and keep other people out of their private lives.

You’d best go home to your wife and apologize for being jealous and suspicious and get things back on track with her. Being unjustly accused can cool a relationship. You don’t want to create a situation that would make her lonely and unappreciated and start her thinking about somebody else — like this guy who’s smitten with her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I said something rude to my teacher, who didn’t make me go to the office. She only gave me a bad look. But, when we got a couple of tests back last week, I had been marked harshly. I know it wasn’t fair.

What can I do now? I don’t want to go sucking up to her for the remark I made, after she’s gotten even in a way that could affect my average. I’m in Grade 12, looking to go to university out of province. Should I complain to the principal? My parents are not going to be happy. Help! 

— Teacher Problem, Winnipeg

Dear Teacher Problem: You and the teacher are both angry, so you need a third party to help solve this. Go see a school counsellor and ask for mediation. 

Be completely open about the rude thing you said, and how and why you said it, and that the teacher, oddly enough, let it go at first.

Now, you notice she’s marking you harshly and you need to do what’s necessary to get things back to normal, even if you and the teacher don’t like each other.

That may mean a belated apology for what you said, or if this can’t be repaired, you may need to change classes next term.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: You gave great advice to the guy who has bad gas to go see a doctor. My husband had this issue. He found out in his 40s his excess flatulence was due to lactose intolerance. Then the problem was solved very easily. 

— Whew! Winnipeg

Dear Whew: The body finds ways to tell us something is wrong and bad gas is a clear flag to doctors who know about such things. I’m glad your man is no longer sour and is smelling like a flower.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am alone because I like it that way. I have had two husbands who kept me company all right, but turned out to be jerks to live with. One managed to hide his gambling problem, while the other never quite let go of his first wife and is now back with her and the kids. I am done!

The problem is my friend thinks I need a third husband, and keeps dragging me out to events and pushing single male friends at me. I’m 31, and I just want to have some children, but neither husband turned out to be long-term daddy material.

I want to be a mom, more than anything. Should I adopt or get myself pregnant with a male friend and have a baby? Money is not a problem for me as I recently got a big inheritance and can live on the interest. 

— Bio Clock Banging, Southdale

Dear Bio Clock: Your taste in men is a problem. Try to clear that up first with some intense counselling to discover why and reset your tastes. You might be able to choose a quality guy for love and kids yet, which would be best.

Adoption is an option, but living a lonely lifestyle is not a great way to bring kids up in the world — for them or for you. You need to join some groups that interest you and find a nice group of friends. You have the advantage of money, so you might start by buying a house near a school and get into the family way of doing things.

When you are ready, there are ways to adopt children as a single woman, though you probably wouldn’t be first in line for a newborn baby. Having a baby with a kind, well-balanced single male buddy, who wants to be a father figure would give you more control as to timing and you’d know about your own DNA and his. It’s something to consider.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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