Sex with girlfriend not the cat’s meow

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This article was published 21/10/2018 (2557 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: This is embarrassing, but I have to tell someone. My new girlfriend is adorable, but when we’re making love, she likes to meow like a cat. She’s a cat lover and obviously thinks it’s cute. I think it’s sickening. Last time we had sex, she was fantasizing I was a tomcat. Yuck. Even thinking that makes me feel queasy and turned off. I asked her loudly to stop, without giving her any reason, and she quickly grabbed her clothes and went to cry in the shower. She came out red-eyed and fully dressed and told me to go home. She said I had embarrassed and shamed her.

I think I may have lost her. She was my first real girlfriend and sex partner, and she has her own apartment. Now what? She’s not calling me back. I even sent her flowers today. I doubt that’s a help, but my dad does that when he upsets my mother. Anything you could do to help me would be good.

— First Love, Winnipeg

Dear First Love: Since this is your first sexual relationship, you may worry this is how all young women react, but it’s unusual. Women make lots of strange noises during sex, and some can be a type of high moaning, but not realistic cat sounds. Let your girlfriend know you’re fine with natural noises, but cat meows turn you off. If the high-pitched cat thing is her big turn-on, she’s simply not a match for you.

If she’s not willing to talk this out, back off and stop begging. This is another thing you need to learn as a young lover. Saying you’re sorry once or twice is one thing, but women lose respect for someone who’s laying himself at their feet and begging. It’s her turn to respond.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband tells me we need four or five days off to build up between sexual “efforts” if we are going to have a good chance of getting me pregnant. I told him he was wrong, that the more we do it, the better the chance of a pregnancy.

He goes out a lot at night to play sports and comes home tired, wanting a snack, shower and sleep and not sex with me. I wonder if he’s just telling me stories about the spacing of his sexual efforts. — Hoping for a Baby Soon, St. Boniface

Dear Hoping: It sounds like he’s spouting convenient “misinformation” because he’s too tired to have sex, which I note he calls “efforts.” Tell him the bottom line is there’s a greater chance of pregnancy if you make love a lot at the point when you’re ovulating, between periods. Spacing sex out by four or five days over the month could possibly hit the spot at the right time, or not. You’d be better off to make love a lot during the time when you’ll be ovulating, usually in the middle weeks of your cycle.

Does your husband secretly not want a baby right now? It could be he’s not 100 per cent behind your getting pregnant. Talk to him about this and see if he needs a little longer to get on board.

You might take a deep breath and calmly ask him if he’ll ever be ready. It’s shocking how many couples have not discussed this issue before marriage, because they didn’t want to rock the boat — and some of those people don’t actually want babies, ever. Babies can be a deal-breaker in a relationship. It’s best to get it out in the open ASAP.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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