Crude drunk confession ruins friendship

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This article was published 24/10/2018 (2900 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My best friend and I got really drunk and I said something crude about what I’d like to do with his woman if he ever dumps her. He hit me in the face and cracked my nose. I sobered up and realized I deserved it, and apologized to him on the phone for what I said.

He just said, “Get lost for good, and don’t go anywhere near my girlfriend.” I could tell by his voice he meant it, and he was sober.

Those were just the rants of a stupid, drunk guy. Why won’t he overlook what I said? I’m overlooking my cracked nose.

— Lost My Best Friend, West End

Dear Lost: You blew it, pal. Some words you can’t stuff back in your mouth. He wouldn’t feel comfortable with you hanging around him anymore, when he knows you’re just waiting for him to drop his lady friend so you can take a run at her.

He may not have told her what you said, in case she has some interest in you. If you were to be friends again, he’d feel he had to watch you all the time. Close friendships are built on deep trust, and that trust is gone.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m just going to spit it out. I’m attracted to two things — muscles and long hair on a man. If he doesn’t have either, I need him to get them if I’m going to have a powerful sexual attraction to him. I don’t especially need the tattoos on the muscled body, but I do need earrings and other jewelry. And he needs to be generous with a big heart, and have a blue-collar job. I like a man who’s good with his hands!

I am a scientist with a serious job. But, this outlaw look and character was imprinted on me with my first lover and has not gone away. I don’t even care if the guy is balding on top, he still needs the ponytail. I find myself attracted to men in bands, bikers and old hippies. I am turned on by old-fashioned hard rock music. Please don’t try to talk me out of this, as I am not a young woman.

What I want to know is how do you say this outright in an online matchup website and not sound like a fool? I also don’t want to sound demanding and outdated. I’ve tried to disguise my preferences with prettier words online, but it doesn’t attract the guys I’m looking for. What do you suggest?

— Want What I Want, Winnipeg

Dear Want: None of what you have said is offensive. It just takes courage to put it in print. You might change the “bikers” bit to “guys on motorcycles” as “bikers” implies criminality and violence to some people.

Why not tell the honest truth about what you want, and see who replies? How else are you going to find it, except to go digging at bars, where you might not find older guys of this type anymore. That doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Make sure you get out to rock festivals, concerts and special shows at venues you really like and meet like-minded people.

And what do you have, to complement men with this look? Take a look in the mirror. If you don’t look anything like the way you feel inside, become a weekend warrior and develop a wardrobe with really cool clothing and a beautiful leather coat and accessories. Either grow your hair out or cut it spiky and short.

Your jewelry should literally be “remark-able.” Men are fascinated by unique jewelry, and you can start whole conversations with it. As for your body, you don’t have to be slim, but you don’t need to be flabby, either, with all the gyms around. Bonus? You may find your type of guy there, building their muscles.

Be true to yourself on the inside and out, and you will attract the right man. It only takes one.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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