Change yourself inside and out

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This article was published 01/11/2018 (2893 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was always a beautiful woman and I’m still better looking than half the women my age. But lately, I can’t help but notice my looks are slowly falling apart.

A good part of my self-esteem came from my face and body. Don’t bother telling me I’m shallow, as most men and women my age are feeling this way. I already have a good personality and am the first person to join the party, but when I get up in the morning and look at myself naked in the mirror, I feel depressed for the rest of the day.

Please give me real help, not warnings about acting my age. I have a nice partner in the trades and he still looks like a hunk. But I have drooping underarm, breasts, thighs and two chins, and blue veins showing in my hands and feet. I don’t want to be this way anymore and it’s just getting worse.

— Depressed Over Droops, Winnipeg

Dear Droops: You can change the way you feel about yourself and your body with a different wake-up routine. Here’s a little secret: I wake up every morning and sing the same song I sang every morning in Grade 1 with my class: “Oh, what a beautiful mornin’, Oh, what a beautiful day, I’ve got a beautiful feeling, Everything’s goin’ my way.” Sound silly? Maybe. But it is ingrained now and it usually works.

In the dark, reach over and turn the radio onto a station that soft pedals the early morning news so you don’t take a beating, right off the bat. Then drink a whole glass of water. Try eating a light lunch instead of a carb- or protein-loaded breakfast.

Now, here’s the main trick for addressing the depressing effect of looking at your aging body. Don’t schlep yourself around like a hard-bodied 20-something. Get dressed up, looking ready to go out to brekkie or lunch with a movie star.

As for the deeper part of your beauty plan, there’s nothing like weightlifting or dancercising to revive your body. Muscles have memory and will pop back fast if you’ve ever exercised before.

Then learn to smile, tell jokes and have fun. Happy people are perceived to be at least 10 years younger than others their age.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother wants me to move out so she can “start living.” She has a new boyfriend and feels self-conscious having him over when I’m still living at home. I say, “Go ahead. Have him over. Be my guest!”

I’m just 20 and I don’t see why I should have to move out right away so my mother can start having sex again. I’m down in the basement with my music, my computer, bed, rec room and bathroom. I have another degree to go. Why should I have to move?

— Hurt and Annoyed Daughter, Southdale

Dear Hurt and Annoyed: You need to move out so you can mature beyond the mental age of a 17-year-old. School isn’t the only thing you need to learn about between 18 and 21. Yes, you need to study, but you also need to work part-time and find some roommates to experience what it’s like to be young and free, not dependent and tied to mom.

I’m sorry this move is tied to your mother’s sex life, but it needed to happen. So start looking for work if you don’t already have it. Then hit all the university billboards, find somebody looking for a roommate and launch your new life.

Mom might give you some money to get started. Don’t think of it as kiss-off money. It’s actually a leg up to a new lifestyle suitable to a young woman of your age who might end up with a great social life and love life of her own. That’s the bright side of all this, once you work it out.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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