Move on, there’s no winning this horse race

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This article was published 06/11/2018 (2889 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend is passionately in love with her horse. I’ve always said if she were up against the wall, she would say she loves her horse more than me because the horse needs her to live. I have a job and I do well financially and can feed myself.

Let’s face it, I’m jealous of the horse. She goes to him first after work, and she often doesn’t get to her place until way past dinner. I want to marry her because I love her and I’ll take what I can get. It’s pathetic, I know. I don’t know what she’ll do after that horse dies. Get another one, I suppose.

Last night I hit the wall. I got up my courage and asked the big question: if we got married, would she be willing to have a baby with me? She very reluctantly said, “Maybe one, but I can’t guarantee that, because I really don’t have time with my horse and my work.” I suggested she work part-time and she said no.

It’s starting to sink in. She has her baby needs met with this horse who is smart, idolizes her, is beautiful to look at — and is completely dependent on her.

This may be a deal-breaker for us. We’re in our early 30s. Please help!

— Jealous of Her Horse, Charleswood

Dear Jealous: She’s made up her mind. You’re the “close, but no cigar” guy in her life. She probably doesn’t want a guy she loves more, because then she might want to marry him, and then how would she divide her time?

You have been willing to accept very little attention and still provide her with love, sex and adoration. Perfect for her!

But, you have a big empty hole in your life and want what most other grown-up people your age want — a partner and a family. Good luck.

Try to identify the things about her that you love and look for them in another women — one who goes nowhere near a horse barn.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a funny man at work and we laughed our way into love. Now we are in a bad predicament. I’m his boss and he is my executive assistant. I’m single and he is casually dating a few women.

Now we’d like to just be with each other, but it’s complicated. He says he doesn’t want to look like he’s in love with the boss for what advantages it can bring him.

He dates other women for cover, but they’re getting so little attention they will soon drop off. Then there will just be the two of us, and we will definitely want to be seen together.

We’re not ready to get married but we’d like to be exclusive and come out of the closet.

What do you think we should do?

He’s so crazy he says we should jam ourselves into a real closet in the main office and then burst out with party hats on and yell “Surprise.”

Do you have a realistic way for us to announce we’re a couple? I own the company, so nobody can fire me or him.

— Dark In This Closet, Winnipeg

Dear Dark: If he’s serious about dumping the other people he “dates” and you are serious about him, tell a few people at the office, and say you don’t mind who knows.

That juicy gossip will make it to the farthest reaches of the building within an hour.

Ask him if he’s ready to make this romance work and talk about the M word. You may be more serious than he is. But if he’s all in, you should know the best work romances involve people who are formally committed to each other.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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