Don’t waste time writing to unresponsive family

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/11/2018 (2878 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have no one to write or call. I have been incarcerated for something I didn’t do and feel really depressed because this is time I will never get back. I have tried to write to friends and relatives, but they are unresponsive. I feel like everyone gave up on me. They don’t even answer my calls, or send me money for personal hygiene.

I feel like I have been forgotten and wonder what did I do so wrong. All I ever did was help people by giving them money or items, just to see them smile. I’m writing to you in search of a pen pal or even more. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

— Lonely and Needing Someone,

Headingley Correctional Centre.

Dear Lonely: Sorry, but I can’t connect you with a pen pal, for security reasons. I note you didn’t say what crime you were accused of, or how old you are. You sent me a description of yourself physically and what you like to do, but I can’t put that in this letter and identify you to everyone you know in jail.

Your best bet at this point is to get as involved as you can in activities and support groups so you can make a friend or two at Headingley. As for your family and friends who don’t answer your letters, don’t waste much more time writing — maybe just one more at Christmas, expressing your own feelings. But don’t expect to hear anything back.

Waiting for responses that don’t come just means more hurt and disappointment for you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m having trouble knowing which way to go with my long-distance girlfriend. She’s cooling off because I uttered a few words of criticism that needed to be said about a few things she was doing that were hurting me. I’d hoped we could work it out on the phone.

Apparently not! The long-distance factor is such a big negative for her, we are not allowed to have any discussion or arguments.

To be fair, when we’re finally together, it is bliss and we never argue at all. Sexually, it is out of this world!

This is my first long-distance relationship and I don’t know where to go with this.

I can feel I’m blowing it and need help fast.

— Told Her My Hurt Feelings, Winnipeg

Dear Told Her: It had to come out some time and there is no good time for it. When a long-distance couple are together at last, they don’t want to waste one moment of time “working things out” when they could be holding hands finally enjoying the world together, or in bed making love. Then, when they’re home after having had such a good time, back on the boring old phone again, they are scared to rock the boat.

If this is true love, you will feel a need to work this out so you can be together. If neither of you is making a move, your time as lovers will be limited.

You may end up lifetime friends, or just part and never talk again so you heal faster.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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