Zip lip and don’t rock boat over affair

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/11/2018 (2872 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I usually sleep like the dead, but woke up early yesterday morning with an aching shoulder and got up to take some medication. I heard my wife talking on the phone quite clearly. She was talking to her best friend and the conversation sounded juicy, so I thought I’d just lie there and listen. Big mistake!

I learned that her friend was having an affair with someone and there had been a fight between the lovers. My wife was comforting her and giving her advice. Nothing unusual about that, as she’s a very sympathetic person.

But then, she said something that shocked me! She was trying to get the other woman to stop crying and said, “Remember when I had to get over my affair, and I thought I would die of the heartache? But I am just fine now!”

I didn’t know who she was talking about, but we’ve been married more than 25 years and I was the first guy she dated steadily. That means the affair had to have happened while we were together. I just lay there stunned, wondering when this could have happened and who the creep was.

I was scared to accuse my wife of anything, especially since it was all over now, but who could it have been? Then I remembered a period of time when I had to travel for work two weeks out of every month. She had been very upset at first and then seemed to really enjoy life again. She almost seemed happy to wave goodbye to me.

So now what should I do? The affair is over and we are happy and I work in Winnipeg at the home office — no more sales trips. Should I rock the boat?

Truth is, I had some women in my bed when I was travelling. But who did my wife sleep with here? I don’t want to lose her, but I might lose my mind thinking about this. I got away with my own sins. Do I have a right to be angry? — Heading For Crazy, Southdale

Dear Heading For Crazy: Since you were already playing around at the same time, you don’t deserve an answer from her. She owes you nothing. So never bring it up or it could tear your marriage apart.

You’re actually a lucky man. That cheating chapter of your life has ended and both of you are happy together. Satisfying your curiosity just isn’t worth the pain and agony it would bring to both of you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is bugging me to go on a trip this winter. Last time we went away, I was bored out of my mind.

She’s a good old-fashioned wife and has no interests outside our children and looking after me.

I don’t want to leave my winter sports and my friends, but I also don’t want to deprive her of some fun. She works hard to make a great home for everybody. — Wanting To Stay Home, Fort Garry

Dear Wanting: Your wife needs a break! Of course you should go away and have fun this year.

But a trip for two to a place where you don’t know anyone could feel endless. You two need other people to socialize with. A group tour or a cruise could solve this problem.

With so much to do and people to visit, a week to 10 days could be long enough to have a good time and come home satisfied.

Plus, a short trip doesn’t cut into your winter sports that much, does it?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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