Improve your sex life with a good book

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/03/2019 (2418 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a returning university student in my late 30s, recently separated from my wife, and heading for divorce. She has a new guy she’s in love with. So much for me!

I’m surprised at the fact that two young women in my classes are obviously chasing me. They’re not shy about it, either. One asked me out for “drinks and whatever” and the other asked me straight out to come to her apartment for the night. We were at a party and she’d had quite a few drinks. I said no, but gave her a safe ride home.

My wife told me part of the reason she found another lover is because I was no good in bed. These younger women think I must have something to teach them, but I don’t. I’m Mennonite and have never been one for loose sex, but that may have been a mistake. Maybe I didn’t learn what I should have when I was single and had a chance to get around.

I’m pretty tempted by these two women, but is it worth the guilt I might feel afterward? And what if I fall for one of them, and that was never their plan at all?

— Need Tutoring Myself, Winnipeg

Dear Need Tutoring: You can be casual and outspoken when a woman is coming on to you for no-strings sex. If these outgoing classmates are looking for tutoring from an older, experienced guy, let them know they probably have more experience than you do.

If one or both young women say they find you attractive and will be glad to teach you all they know, your feelings might change. Be warned, if you do decide to play casually, you need to use birth control, including condoms, to prevent the spread of sexually-transmitted infections.

But if these women are looking for an older sex guru, let them down with a no and a good-natured grin.

Consider studying up. There are all kinds of books out there that can take you from being a so-so lover to a Buddha of the boudoir. Sex shops and most bookstores, including Chapters and McNally Robinson, have book sections devoted to sexuality.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve had a lover on the side for the past couple of years. He’s an old boyfriend who came back into my life. I wasn’t as careful as I should have been about birth control and now there’s a baby on the way. I’m not one for abortion.

I’m scared to tell my husband. He can be a very nasty macho man and has beaten me badly. What do you think? Should I keep it to myself and pray for the best?

— In Trouble Now, Downtown

Dear Trouble: If it’s your lover’s baby, would the baby clearly not look at all like your husband? For instance, are the fathers of the same race? What you really need is independence from this violent man, so you can raise this child without resentment and nastiness and beatings.

Why mention it to your husband? It could mean violence to both you and your unborn child. Babies born as the result of an affair are often passed off as the husband’s child. But why stay with this man? See a counsellor ASAP and find out how you can escape from your husband for good. Your life, and possibly that of your baby, could depend on it. The Women’s Health Clinic (419 Graham Ave.) or Klinic (870 Portage Ave.) would be good places to start.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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