Winter gear keeps age gap under wraps

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This article was published 25/03/2019 (2739 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I got out of the winter doldrums quickly when I met a new male friend — a big, tall dog-lover, and my new neighbour.

We met dog-walking during the last really bitter cold snap. He and I ended up walking our two big, hairy dogs together every evening for a week. We chatted about our mutual love of animals and sports, our pets dead and gone, friends and travel.

It came up casually that we were both single with no kids. I was falling for him fast.

Our heads were mostly covered with balaclavas and parka hoods, but I loved his deep voice and big, brown eyes. I thought (hoped) he might be my age or a few years younger, but when I finally asked him, it turned out he was just 33! I’m 49, trim and athletic with almost no lines and I dye my hair. I’m single with no kids and don’t want to go that route. He should be looking for a wife and family. I felt embarrassed about gawking at him.

I didn’t show up at the appointed spot the day after that or the next day. He had my cell number and called to see if I was sick. I said I wasn’t, but I couldn’t go dog-walking with him anymore and it was “too embarrassing to explain.”

He didn’t seem to know what I was talking about, probably because he only thought of me as a friend.

I know I owe him an explanation, but I don’t know what to say and he only lives two doors down. I can’t keep dodging him.

— No Fool Like an Old Fool, Winnipeg

Dear No Fool: You’d be amazed how often these age-awkward relationships spring up at work, now that everybody is out working. Both sexes are busy in the workplace and people can very naturally become attracted to the personality inside a co-worker they see every day.

At work you talk and the age difference doesn’t act as a barrier to getting to know each other.

You really do owe it to this nice guy to say he didn’t do anything wrong. How about telling him you developed a big crush on him, and because of the big age difference, you felt you had to “back off”?

He may still want to go on being friends with you, but that’s too hard. You’re going to have to tell him that’s impossible, unless he finds a way to age a decade or two, or suddenly make himself totally unattractive.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just met a man who loves to give me expensive costume jewelry — not real diamonds and pearls. We’ve only been together six months and I’m decked out with all kinds of things he brings home from sales trips.

He says jewelry shopping for his lady is his hobby when he’s away and asks that I not deny him the fun. But what if I don’t want to stay with him? Do I give him back all the jewelry? I really feel I must ask him to stop. I still don’t know where this relationship is headed. Maybe he is the one and then it would be all right; it’s just too soon to know. What should I do?

— Decked With His Jewelry, North Kildonan

Dear Decked: Listen, he could be buying hot chicks drinks in a nightclub instead of shopping for you! Why not let him have his fun? He doesn’t think he’s buying you; these gifts are just trinkets, not gold and emeralds. He’s enjoying his hobby when he’s away and he’s thinking nice things about you. That’s great!

If and when the relationship is over, there’s no need to return these baubles, so don’t insult him by throwing them in a box and trying to do that. Just try to relax and enjoy his attention.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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