Even up the situation in one-sided love affair

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This article was published 28/03/2019 (2417 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m in love with a man who’s in love with two women — me and his wife. He says he loves us “equally, but in two different ways.”

He and his wife don’t have sex anymore, but they are the closest of friends. He and I are best friends at work so this is a clandestine affair. We only get together at my place when he can find the chance to sneak away, usually two times during the week and Saturday afternoons. 

We don’t think anyone knows about it. My sweetie has teenage children with his wife and they’re not out of the house yet. I don’t want to break up their family.

I’m not the first woman he’s had an affair with, as his wife gave up on sex almost 10 years ago. So what do I mean to him? He says he loves me, but I’m supposed to understand it’s not the kind of deep love he has for his wife. Ours is more sexual.

I’m lonely a lot. What do you think? — Lonely for His Friendship Too, Downtown

Dear Lonely: This would work just fine if you evened things up and had another man to be your friend/loving companion. But you don’t. You’re the one who’s supposed to understand you’re on a “love diet” and keep yourself under control.

If you must stay with this guy, at least open your eyes and shop around for a second man to be your platonic friend. You’re single and should be getting twice what you have now, not half of what everybody else is getting.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing about “Desperate Sports Widow,” whose husband is watching sports in their bedroom day and night. I could have written that letter, with some exceptions.

I now sleep in another bedroom with my own TV, not as large as his. I watch what I want.

I also work on puzzles of all kinds and keep myself busy with women’s groups. I attend church (he never comes).

My sports-minded armchair athlete for the last 20 years is a Type 2 diabetic, so that does nothing to help with his erectile dysfunction or libido.

This lady wonders if her husband’s gambling is out of control. I’m sure he does gamble (online), as mine does — not a lot, just enough to make it interesting.

It could be worse. Try counting your blessings! You aren’t alone. — Making the Best of My Situation, Winnipeg

Dear Making the Best: What blessings? Financial ones? He doesn’t fight with her openly, that’s true, but he totally ignores her.

You certainly aren’t enjoying much companionship in your relationship and you aren’t in a position to find a new guy who would love you and pay attention to you.

Desperate Sports Widow is in a worse situation because her husband has his sports blaring day and night in a bedroom they still share. Both of you need to make a move.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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