Drunk ‘wild thing’ not so wild when sober

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/04/2019 (2709 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I went out with a group of my friends Friday night, and in a drunk moment, asked this cute new guy in our group if he’d like to go to Minneapolis the next night “for a wild and kinky weekend.” To my surprise, he replied, “Sure, why not?”

Unfortunately, I learned “why not” by the time we passed Fargo, and was wishing I’d not been so impulsive. This guy started talking about all the kinky stuff he liked to do with his ex-girlfriend. Then I told him I was not quite the wild woman I pretended to be the night before.

I talk a big game when I’m drunk. I don’t mind a little furry handcuff action, but I’m not into whips and chains. I timidly asked him if he had toys in his luggage and he said, “No, but I thought you would.”

We spent an awkward Saturday night in Minneapolis, with dinner and some TV. I told him I didn’t think I was really into sex with him, and I was sorry I led him to believe we were into the same things. He wasn’t impressed and slept on his side of the bed, then we decided to go home early on Sunday. He hardly spoke on the way home.

What the heck is wrong with me? Why do I feel the need to let everybody think I’m a kinky, crazy girl?

— All Talk, No Kinky Action, St. Boniface

Dear Talk: Obviously, you don’t feel you’re exciting or attractive enough as you are, so you start building yourself up as a strong, wild woman when you’re drunk.

After this unfortunate event, this is a sign you need counselling. You’re young and money might be an issue, so be aware you can get free walk-in counselling at Klinic on Portage Avenue. Be sure to call for their hours and get there 90 minutes early so they have time to see you.

Don’t try to ignore this little catastrophe. It ended up all right and you got home safe. But it could have gone another way. That’s why it’s important you see this as a turning point in your life and the way you interact with men.

Spend some time to get your head straight and learn to love yourself the way you are. Not everybody needs to be a hot-blooded sex machine to be admired. Next time you like a guy, talk to him, laugh with him and ask him out for a bite to eat. That’s not intimidating and it doesn’t set up weird expectations.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a mechanic and I’m getting used by my friends. I can’t count how many times a buddy has asked me to come over and fix his car and then offered me less than I normally charge. I’m already charging these people less than they’d pay anywhere else and they still haggle with me. I hate that! Are these really friends? Should I dump them?

— Rusting Friendships, Windsor Park

Dear Rusting: The danger here is losing some old friendships, but you can tell people things have to change because you’re overloaded at work and too tired to do repairs at home. The people who are definitely using you will back off. No loss. True friends may even apologize and will continue to be your friend.

To rebuild your smaller, but real group of friends, start inviting these guys out to games, or to play pool rather than just hanging out at your place while you fix their cars. Many people in the trades run into this problem and have to set limits.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I recently saw, for the first time, my daughter’s Instagram account. She has blocked me on all social media, and I never cared much, but a friend of mine showed me her stuff on her phone. My daughter’s account had many naked pictures with little stars and things on the tips of her breasts. She was raised in a nice home with a great family and good schools.

What if she wants a serious job later on? Do I talk to her? Was I wrong to snoop on her?

— Shocked Mom, Southdale

Dear Shocked Mom: Some people fall in love with their own photos. They go out and get them professionally done and doctor them up with filters and other improvements. Then they cover only the little parts that are on Instagram. It’s easily done through the app or by someone using Photoshop or similar programs.

Don’t worry about whether you were wrong to snoop on your kid’s public social media. Other people pointed it out to you, so it’s not like you went looking. There’s no point in giving yourself a migraine. Don’t act guilty, but ask her how she thinks this will go over when she’s looking for a good job later in life, and the employer takes a look at her public social media.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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