Reach out and touch somebody’s hand

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/12/2015 (3908 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

A Letter from Miss Lonelyhearts to readers:

Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone. Whew! The year 2015 is about to be over and wasn’t it a difficult one? We know for sure 2016 is going to be one challenge after another, as well, but we have one advantage: we’re awake now! People on this complacent side of the world have had no choice but to become aware of conflicts, climate changes and war going on “over there,” and terrorist attacks “over here” in North America.

The good news? Now so many of these cans of worms are open, we all need to team up to help to save this planet, environmentally and politically. That means singles, marrieds, young, middle-aged and old people must get together to help.

Upsetting times can bring people together, or tear them apart. People get cranky and truths get told. Strong people get stronger, and weak people often follow them, and get stronger, too! Lip service is not enough now, and all of us need to pick a cause (or several) and get behind them.

I delivered some purses with gifts for homeless woman — toiletries and small presents — to the Bannock Lady, who does more good work for this city than 30 people on a committee. Her house is simple, small and warm, but she was beaming and gave me the warmest hug as I left. You could feel her happiness.

Maybe this is where we can put part of our own personal pain in 2016 — into helping other people. Getting active and volunteering is a good way to reduce anyone’s loneliness factor, the hurt of a breakup or the empty feeling of moving to a new city. It’s a great way to make new friends with good-hearted people and it feels good to become closer with others.

A few years ago, I asked a room full of middle-aged singles at a Finding Love forum, “Who here would like to know their neighbours?” And nobody put up a hand. Not one person. I was shocked. I couldn’t speak for a few minutes.

I asked them why. It turns out they were city folks who were scared of losing their privacy and worried their neighbours might be weirdos — not that they were doing anything worth gossiping about at that point in their lives (they were quick to admit that). They just had a general fear of strangers in the city. And yet, those same neighbours they were scared of — most of them nice people — could have become friends and introduced these lonelyhearts to many new people, including plenty of single adults. Lots of people have unmarried sisters and brothers and friends. They have single sons, daughters, nephews and nieces, and the oldest ones have grandchildren who are already middle-aged. And everybody loves to matchmake, if they have permission!

Some of the people at the forum lived in apartment blocks full of people they could befriend, and some even had single neighbours — if only they hadn’t been too afraid to say hello or organize a block party for the whole gang.

In 2016, it’s time to tear down those walls and make Winnipeg a warmer, socially active city where neighbours reach out and get things done together. Remember the song by Diana Ross: “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand/Make this world a better place if you can.”

Lonelyhearts Unite!

— Warmly, Miss L.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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