Lack of activity turns husband into a dweeb

Opinion

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This article was published 26/08/2016 (3329 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Sometimes I wonder why I married my dweeb of a husband. I can’t reconcile this with the man I was so crazy about when I married him. He has changed. He was always fun when we were dating, engaged and first married. Now he’s lazy and has his little moods. I’m bored and I’ve had to reconnect with old friends and interests I had dropped when we were so crazy in love and doing everything together.

Sometimes I wonder if I still love him. This is no longer the honeymoon, that’s for sure. Actually, the sex is still good, but I feel like I’m married to a different guy than the one at the altar. That’s who I made my vows with, not this Average Joe. Am I with the wrong person? — Wondering Seriously, Tuxedo

Dear Wondering Seriously: What are you doing to make fun memories with him now? Once two people fully discover each other, it’s time to join hands and look outward at the world. You can plan extraordinary things to do with each other regularly. To switch onto that active track, create bucket lists — things you want to do before you kick the bucket — and get systematically working on them. You don’t know how long either of you have before babies come along to slow you down, so get moving while you’re completely free.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I just came back from a road trip to meet her relatives in the States. They really liked me, though they didn’t seem to like her much. I was shocked at how they turned their backs on her, asked me to join them in activities such as golfing, sailing and even board games, and left her out. I refused to play along with them, if they did that. By the end of the visit, I had the full picture of her upbringing. She was not the favourite child by any means, but on the way home, when I criticized her family for treating her poorly, she blew up and defended them. I don’t get it. I was just supporting her. — Puzzled Guy, Winnipeg

Dear Puzzled Guy: This thing called family loyalty is hard to grasp. It’s OK if the family fights or criticizes each other, but it is still not OK for an outsider to make negative comments too freely. On occasion, when there’s a crisis and your lady is hurting, you can say something, but generally, only she gets to to criticize them and you just nod your head and comfort her.

Suggest getting a hotel room near the family home, if you go back, for breathing room. You be there for her, but not actively putting down her clan members. Remember, she already knows you don’t like them and she already knows you’re totally on her side.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in need of help from you and your female readers. I’m in search of a pen pal, but there is one thing: I’m currently at Stony Mountain Institution. I get out in 2017. I appreciate your help. I may be in prison, but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad guy — everyone makes mistakes. I want to be able to give my daughter a good life, so I’m setting reachable goals for raising her until she turns 18. I’m really a great guy, but only time will tell if any female will be willing to find out and take a chance on a roll of the dice. — Mr. Stony Mountain, Manitoba

Dear Mr. Stony Mountain: I never match-make for anyone who writes in because I don’t personally know the writers. I do wish you well when you get out of jail and start over again on a different path. In your longer letter to me you list all your personality attributes, but you never once mention why you’re in jail. That’s very important to women who might consider getting involved with you, and in all fairness, not something you should hide when advertising for a friend.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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