Lecherous brother-in-law starting to get out of hand

Opinion

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This article was published 04/12/2016 (3235 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My brother-in-law makes me nervous. My spidey sense tells me never to be in the same room with him alone. He has always followed me from room to room when there’s people over, and he always wants to do things alone with me.

Like at the lake, he’ll suggest that he and I can do an errand together, such as run out for beer or pick up the cousins from the arcade.

At Christmas last year he tried to put his arms around me and tie my apron on. I elbowed him in the gut and stomped on his foot. I didn’t complain to my husband because I didn’t want to make a fuss.

He’s a creep, but his manners on the surface are impeccable, yet I always feel like he has something else else in mind. My younger sister feels it too. My older sister, who is his wife, would be horrified to hear this. She thinks he’s perfect. — Creeped Out Sisters, Brandon

Dear Creeped Out Sisters: Trust your instincts and call your brother-in-law on it. Say something such as: “Why are you always hanging around me and staring? Stop it.” If he says he doesn’t know what you mean, say confidently, “Yes you do! And that goes for my younger sister, who has noticed you staring at her. Stay away from us!”

You will probably not have to say another word. He thought he was getting away with it until now, although you would think he might have gotten a clue when you elbowed him and tried to break his toes. Also make sure your husband and your sister’s guy also know about it, and are on the watch. As for telling your sister about her husband’s behaviour, there are pros and cons to going that route. I would like some input on this from readers. Please write me at the addresses below.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My family doesn’t know I’m seriously ill, and that’s the way I want it. But now, my husband doesn’t think I should make the big Christmas dinner or have the usual impromptu parties at our house, yet that’s what will keep me up and happy this season!

He has threatened to tell our kids I have this illness, but I don’t want their Christmas tinged with sadness. My husband is afraid the work and excitement will take too much out of me.

How can I get him to keep my illness a secret? I don’t want want anybody taking this Christmas away from our family home. We have money, just not time. — Worried Wife, Mom and Grandma, Winnipeg

Dear Worried Wife, Mom and Grandma: Use some of that money to make it easy, and ease your husband’s mind.

This year, order a fancy cooked Christmas turkey dinner, with all the veggies and trimmings and dessert from a hotel.

For instance, at The Fairmont it’s $390 including tax to feed 18-20 people. Or you can get the half turkey dinner for $195, and it feeds eight. The deadline for ordering is Dec. 21. (204-985-6212). As for having Christmas goodies, you can order beautiful assortments at such as Lilac Bakery on Grosvenor Avenue.

For easy shopping, ask everybody for very specific lists and suggested places where you can find things. Grandpa can pick them up. Have the grandkids over for wrapping all the gifts. You’ll love the chatting that goes along with it.

Grandpa or a teenager can made a video of it, too. Also, have the kids trim the the Christmas tree. Grandpa can put out the boxes of decorations and deal with the lights, and just let the kids go at it. Maximum fun with minimum effort!

You can get the house cleaned and polished by a team from a cleaning company before and after the Christmas parties.

Just park yourself in a big comfy chair and direct. You are lucky to have the money to make all this happen, so use it.

Not doing Christmas to save the energy and the money would be a waste. I wish you all the best. Love that positive spirit!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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