Son moved out over love of another mother

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This article was published 04/10/2017 (3260 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my girlfriend’s mother more than I love my own. She is so kind and such a good listener and she treats my thoughts and ideas with respect.

In a fight last week, I told my mother exactly that and she hit the roof. She told me to go live at her house if I love my girlfriend’s mother so much. 

I couldn’t do that, of course, but I saw I wasn’t wanted and called my dad. He came to get me. Now I’m living in my dad’s basement and busing it to school.

My mother is calling my cell every freakin’ minute and I have had to block her to go to class. She’s half-crazy, totally insecure and yet she’s a teacher at another school.

This is such a bad mess. It’s lonely at my dad’s because he works a lot, but at least no one is screaming at me like a crazy person. Please help me. — Messed Up, Winnipeg

Dear Messed Up: You and your mother need some counselling together to get through this — a third voice of reason to cool the painful emotions on both sides. Go see a counsellor at school, explain the situation and ask if you could have a session with you and your mom on the excuse your work at school is suffering because of this family rift.

Also ask the counsellor to suggest a good longer-term counsellor outside the school to continue working out the personal problems with your mom. You know going one-on-one with her right now is just going to be another battle.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to a school reunion and ran into my old sweetheart — we were in love all through high school and everybody thought we would get married.

Every time I looked her way at the reunion, she was looking at me. I couldn’t wait for the dancing portion of the night. We finally came into each other’s arms on the dance floor and it was like we never left. It was a feeling of intimacy and knowing I have never had in my two marriages. It felt 100 per cent right.

We both went to the reunion on our own, even though we are both married. Outside the hall, I asked her if she was feeling the same thing I was and she said she was.

She said (sadly) that we should have married each other, but back then we were so young and wanted different things. She moved after high school to get her degree, which required her to be by an ocean. I stayed here, took agriculture and now have my dad’s grain farm, which I love.

So what do we do with this? We have been talking secretly online and on the phone. The feeling is not going away.

We want to finally be together. All our children are grown up and long gone. My wife is sick of me and prefers bingo, the casinos and hanging out with her gambling-addicted girlfriends.

My old girlfriend’s husband is well-off and drinks every day. They haven’t had sex for years. Please help. — Third Time Lucky? Rural Manitoba

Dear Third Time Lucky: The concept that seems to have been missing from you star-crossed lovers is compromise. You have, if you’re lucky, about half a life left to live, and now you know what’s missing in your lives.

We have an extensive network of lakes and rivers in Manitoba (if she could transfer her skills to those water systems), and grain farming doesn’t have to be all year long.

Are you two close to retiring? Search for creative ways it could work this time, even if you live in both the city and country, and maintain two homes together.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6 

Miss Lonelyhearts
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