Expect evil eye to be on the lookout for you

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/11/2017 (3215 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man with an ugly 250-pound problem — his wife. I made the mistake of flirting with him on the dance floor at a bar, and then he suddenly had to go for some reason. His wife stayed at the bar. She was getting real drunk with a girlfriend of hers, about the same size as her and kind of tough looking, with scars on her face. I didn’t care. I was looking at a new guy who danced better than her husband, anyway.

Then I made the mistake of going out back for a smoke, and this woman and her big, fat friend come out after me. She started pushing me high up against the wall, poking me in the chest with her two fingers and calling me all kinds of dirty names, and said she was going to wreck my pretty face. I couldn’t see any bouncer outside, and was getting real scared.

Then along came her husband, back from wherever he went, and said, “I got it. C’mon!” Then she just dropped me down, and went off with him, like the fight never happened. Am I off the hook now? — A Bit Nervous, Downtown

Dear A Bit Nervous: When the husband came back and said, “I got it,” he likely meant drugs. You meant nothing that night compared to the drugs, but that doesn’t mean this woman wouldn’t recognize you again in the bar another night.

Smart people who value their health don’t flirt with the husbands of women who are right there in the bar getting loaded, not to mention very angry at you. Remember, it’s easier for her to take out the anger on you for stealing her man, than to go up against him. It’s even easier if the woman has a tough friend who’s willing to help her go after you.

Don’t think this is over because she dropped the fight to join her husband. You behaved rudely in the bar and disrespected her to her face, and she will have an evil eye out for you. If you can’t behave in one place and end up making enemies, it means you now have to find a new place to hang out and dance, or stay home and watch TV.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Love is a goldfish bowl where I work. I am in love with another woman who works here, and we have to sneak and pretend because the other people who have relationships — two couples that I know of — are watched all the time and gossiped about.

One is a middle manager and his office wife. She’s a life-long single woman who is in love with him, but he will never leave his wife and four children.

He keeps getting his wife pregnant, and the office wife doesn’t understand she doesn’t stand a chance. Everybody talks about them all the time.

The second couple is new, young, and so stupid they park at the end of the parking lot before work starts and get it on in the car. People have come in early and seen them.

My (lesbian) girlfriend and I do nothing to elicit comment. There is a lot of homophobic joking going on in this place. I know what lies beneath it: ignorance, fear and hatred.

I am so tired of this. Should I come out to my two closest friends at the office?

I have things I want to say to join in: couples have a lot of the same challenges, gay or straight. Is it dangerous for me to tell just these two? — Tired Of the Work Closet, East Winnipeg

Dear Tired Of the Work Closet: How I wish I could say it wasn’t dangerous in the year 2017. Liberal people have been fighting these battles for 50 years. Unfortunately, no matter what the laws, you still have to know your own workplace for what it is.

You say you know yours is homophobic. Why would you and your girlfriend put yourselves in harm’s way there?

Life is too short to take the hard route at work, unless you are a born fighter.

Then, more power to you.

These are the people who effect change, but you have to know if you’re that type or not.

If not, you’re better off to have intimate friendships outside of work where you can really relax and be yourself, and all topics are open.

What you might do, if your work is transferable, is start looking for a more liberal place to work, where you could come out and invite your mate to company functions and speak openly about your day-to-day personal life.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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