Husband’s pride needs repairing

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 30/09/2018 (2920 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a helpless idiot and my single neighbour across the street is not. My husband works days at his office and my neighbour works nights, and is awake in the afternoons. We have formed a friendship over rebuilding our old house. Thank god he’s helping, as winter is coming fast and it’s going to be a cold one.

We have an old house with a leaky roof and wall and window problems. My husband insists on being the one to get people to get things done — but he doesn’t! I loudly took over as “contractor” this week, and my husband’s nose is out of joint. I have crews coming to to do the work and my neighbour is helping me to find good people.

My husband, who sits on his behind drinking beer and watching TV when he gets home each day, is jealous of all the work that’s going to get done without his help.

Last night, we had a big blowout and he accused me of having a “thing” with our neighbour. He said, “How do I know what you’re doing with that guy every afternoon?” He didn’t actually say the words “cheating” or “affair” but that’s what he meant.

I’m not attracted sexually to my new friend, but he’s more of a man’s man than my husband is. My husband is on his way to being a manly drunk, that’s what I think. Please help me sort this out.

— Freakin Home of Four, Windsor Park

Dear Freakin: There’s nothing wrong with you handling the renovations or accepting help from this neighbour you don’t lust after. The real problem is reporting every single helpful thing this other guy does. Can you not accept the help and the advice and clam up? My guess is the fights erupt when you ask your husband why he can’t be as big a help as your buddy.

It sounds like your husband is paying the entire bill with his daytime work. That’s worth a lot. Do you ever thank him for that? When he comes home from work next time, surprise him and and crack a beer for him, and get a drink for yourself and sit down with talk about his day and how he’s doing.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife’s constantly complaining about her mother’s new boyfriend. This older man is very nice, and seems to have his own money. My wife is convinced he’s after mom’s dough, which she’s supposed to inherit. She doesn’t want to see it split up. For that reason, she’s running a lot of interference between her mom and her new man.

Last night, I told her to ask her mom about the money issue and get it out in the open. She did! Her mom, in a huff, said, “It’s enough. Don’t you worry.” My wife wanted numbers and her mother refused to give them to her. My wife and I have enough money, we don’t need the inheritance, but she is obsessing over it and her mother isn’t even sick. What should I do?

— Disgusted By My Wife’s Greed, River Heights

Dear Disgusted: Tell your greedy wife if she ruins the relationship between her mother and her new man, she may end up getting a lot less money.

Put your foot down and tell your wife you want the two of you to visit a counsellor about her “money issues,” because it’s obvious this problem is damaging your relationship with her.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography