Visitor hid truth of home life

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This article was published 22/11/2018 (2527 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man visiting town who intrigued me and I went out with him, seduced him, fell for him and then he went back to Ontario where he lives. He used to be a Winnipegger.

Yesterday, I got a screaming phone call from a woman, calling me nasty names like “ho” for “jumping” her boyfriend. She claimed they’d been living together three years in Toronto.

She said he came home and told her he was not in love with her, and had found a woman in Winnipeg he wanted to start seeing, even if he had to fly to do it. She asked him if he’d had sex with me, and he told her yes. She went nuts.

He hadn’t told me about this live-in girlfriend.

I really took a shine to this man in every way, and I think I could be serious about him, but he isn’t entirely honest. He’s obviously crazy about me, though, and I’m no angel. I slept with him right off the hop, and wasn’t sorry.

I got ahold of him PDQ at his office after she hung up. He said he was sorry, that he really “deeply liked” me, but that he never should have done “it” and wouldn’t blame me if I never wanted to see him again.

Then he said he was moving out and had his boxes packed. He said he really liked me and thought we could have something big and he really wanted to keep seeing me. Should I trust him and keep seeing him? — Torn Two Ways, Winnipeg

Dear Torn: He’s enamoured, alright. He did go home and break up with the woman in Toronto over you, and tell her about you. It’s too bad he kept his home life a secret, but to his credit he did remedy that right away, so he’s single now. You may not trust him 100 per cent, but you can trust that he’s crazy about you.

The big question now is how YOU feel about him. You don’t owe him anything in terms of dating because he broke up with his girlfriend in Toronto. He may have been at the end of the road with her by then — or not.

So let’s take a look at future reality. What you’re looking at is a long-distance relationship to see what happens. Are you into him enough for that? There’s nothing worse than romantic questions left unanswered in situations like this. So why not give it a try and see what happens?

Make sure he proves his sincerity by buying the airplane tickets, and you both need to talk about levels of real honesty right now. Perhaps he was “swept away” by you, which means that could happen with someone else down the road.

You both need to promise you will tell each other ahead, if things aren’t working out, before seeing other people.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend half-woke from a nightmare and started whaling on my head with her pillow, and holding it down. I woke up thinking I was going to get killed. I wrestled her down to the bed and got her fully woken up and she was horrified at what she’d done.

It’s “over,” but now I can’t sleep at night, lying awake waiting for it to happen again. The last few nights I’ve slept in the other room with the door locked.

My lady is highly insulted and hurt. Please help. — Ambushed in the Night, St. Vital

Dear Ambushed: You need to take this problem “into the shop.” See a psychologist for an emergency session or two, and work out what happened to cause this nightmare and aggression — how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

It’d be best if you both paid half, unless one or both of you have insurance.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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