Lingerie shopping raises eyebrows

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/12/2018 (2840 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: While Christmas shopping, I met a funny, chubby, middle-aged man who didn’t know what to get for his wife. We were talking on a bench in a mall, both too tired to shop anymore. He said he’d wanted to get his wife a sexy, floor-length nightgown, and she was about my size.

Like a fool, I got talked into going into the lingerie store with him. While we were in there, this woman came into the store who seemed to know him and was giving us looks.

I mentioned it to him and he said, “That’s my wife’s friend! This looks really bad.” He hauled me over to her and started awkwardly explaining how he had just met me in the mall and I was helping him shop for his wife. She didn’t look like she believed a word of it.

Outside the lingerie store, I gave him my cell number so he could let me know how things turned out. He got home and this gossipy friend had already phoned his wife, who was very upset. She doesn’t believe I’m not his “sex babe.”

I don’t know what to do. He wants me to phone her and explain! Should I? —Not Guilty, Westwood

Dear Not Guilty: Why not phone the wife? It can’t get any worse. Besides, no girlfriend or mistress would have the gall to call up a guy’s wife, to get him out of trouble.

And here’s a gutsy tactic to try with her: insult him rudely! Tell her he’s “way too fat and out of shape” to be your choice of a lover and “way too cowed by a suspicious woman.” Tell her she’s lucky to have a man who will put up with her, and hang up.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I need some advice. I’ve been seeing a gentleman for about a month now, and we’ve had adult relations a couple of times. He’s very sweet and very attentive to my needs, but when I ask him what he wants out of our relationship, he says he really doesn’t know.

He doesn’t shy away from talking about it, but seems genuinely confused. I enjoy his company, and can actually see some kind of future with him. What should I do? — Wanting More, Rural Manitoba

Dear Wanting More: You didn’t mention your age, but by your language (“gentleman” and “adult relations”) it seems you’re well past your 20s, at the very least. It’s not surprising a grown man who’s had both good and bad experiences doesn’t know what he wants, after only four weeks.

You haven’t had enough time to develop the romantic relationship before the two of you became intimate. Sex often adds another layer of pressure for a couple to commit.

Give each other three months, during which time you have fun together before you start assessing your commitment. Give yourself time to know each other before pushing for a state of the union address.

If you push too soon on the commitment question, the default answer will almost certainly be no. So ease up, and just enjoy getting to know this sweet guy.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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