De-escalate family feud immediately

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This article was published 30/09/2021 (1780 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I slapped my sister-in-law across the face because she came to my door and told me my son was a no-good loser and a drunk. Her son is a guy with a drug problem!

She said it was my fault my son’s a loser because I’m a terrible mother. She said to keep him off her property and away from her son.

She got right up in my face on the doorstep calling me names, and then she shoved me hard. I stopped her in the middle of her rant, the only way I knew how. So far nothing has happened. What should I do next?

— Still Mad, near Winnipeg

Dear Mad: Don’t do anything more to provoke this fight. Be glad nothing has happened since. Just cool off, and let it go. Should your sister-in-law show up on your property again, don’t answer the door; just lock her out.

You two women put your hands on each other, so you’re both to blame in this fight. Tell your son to stay far away from his cousin and that family’s property, as nothing good can come of the relationship at this point.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m still living under the same roof with my husband, but I’ve stopped being his wife. I live upstairs now, with my own door and private staircase. We’re dating a little. I think I’m the only woman he’s seeing, but we aren’t allowed to ask personal questions. Nor can we just drop in without calling and making a date to do so.

He spends a lot of time at the lake like he always did, but now I’m never sitting here waiting for him to come home from being with his friends (or another woman, for all I know). He’s coming home soon for the late fall and winter seasons. I think I want right out of the marriage, but I’m such a coward.

— Chicken Heart, St. Vital

Dear Chicken Heart: The marriage didn’t suit you the way it was, and you suspected your husband saw other women at the lake. Enough!

You both need to let go, but are scared, or just reluctant, to make the final break. Plus, you’ve created a strange situation with this makeshift duplex, which is bound to blow up when new dating partners become aware of the set-up. It’s time to see a relationship counsellor, to finally let each other go and be truly free.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just ran into a guy I used to go to junior high school with, and he’s now a tall, handsome man with a full beard. His family were our next-door neighbours. I always had a crush on him, and I blurted that out and laughed nervously.

He said, “That’s terrible. I always had a crush on you, too. We wasted a lot of time!”

Then we stood there awkwardly, and his wife and little kids walked up. I said goodbye in a hurry, and I ran to my car, and actually cried a few tears on the steering wheel. I just want to tell your readers not to hide behind shyness or false pride. We would have been great together, I just know it, but we were both too shy to confess our feelings.

— Dumb! Dumb! Dumb! St. Norbert

Dear Dumb: That relationship simply wasn’t meant to be. If you’d been cemented together as a couple from junior high school on, you wouldn’t have had the chance to experience other relationships, and the freedom in between to learn and grow.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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