Time to shake off seductive spoiler

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/10/2021 (1774 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was stupidly thinking I was in love with a new woman I met three months ago, and that we were really heading into something serious. That’s until my ex-wife got wind of it!

Last week, she showed up in nothing but a black raincoat and her silky black lingerie under it — stockings and high heels and tassels in three places. She also had a bottle of my favourite champagne under her arm. And, shame on me, she seduced me all over again. There’s been no one to top her in bed, and she was in my place from midnight until dawn. She snuck out, just as I fell into a dead sleep.

Miss L., I used to love her, but I had to leave her because she’s an alcoholic, can’t keep a job and doesn’t want any kids. I love kids. But, she’s super hot! The biggest problem for me when she’s drinking is that she’s absolutely uninhibited, and I just cannot leave her out on the doorstep.

This has upset the whole applecart with my sweet, sensible and sexually mellower new woman. My ex-wife once said: “You’re mine, and you’ll always be mine whenever I want you.” It’s awful, but it seems she’s right.

I don’t know whether to confess this to my new lady, or keep it quiet and prove to my ex-wife she can’t come over and actually break me up with a new woman! So, how can I get my ex out of my blood for good? I’m an intelligent man at work, but stone stupid when it comes to her.

— Slave For Life? East Kildonan

Dear Slave: Let’s hope you protected yourself (and your new woman) from this tornado who probably also sees other people to satisfy her high sex drive and her need to thrill and dominate.

Unfortunately, when you two get together, you don’t stop to think about much. That factor endangers your present lady health-wise. As for telling your new woman this hard news, what choice do you have? You aren’t hers.

You’re not over this woman who threatens to spoil every new relationship you have and you need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist to get past needing that human cyclone, whenever she comes after you.

It might help to stop seeking out your ex’s gentle opposite in your choice of women, as you seem to need more excitement than your sweet and sensible woman — but you don’t need a troubled person you’ve already divorced!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband wants to go to a Halloween party with a few of his anti-vaxxer co-workers, and has decided he’s going to try to drag me along. I’m normally all about Halloween parties, but I know for a fact I’ll get into a fight. I told my husband I wasn’t going, and he says I’m being a “snob.” I feel like I’m simply preventing myself from spending a night listening to people make up “facts” and getting into arguments with them.

I wish my husband wouldn’t go, but I understand they’re his co-workers. He and I are both double-vaxxed, so that’s not my biggest worry. It’s living with my sulking husband who will make a big deal of this!

— Party Pooper, south Winnipeg

Dear Party Pooper: It’s hard not to bow to your husband’s pressure, but you can’t sideline your principles just because you’re married. Tell him you’re not going this year for sure, but maybe next year.

Then dig your heels in, without yelling, and let him rave on. Tell him in a level voice: “That doesn’t change my mind and nothing will.” Marriage doesn’t cancel your vote and your right to do what feels right for you, which is not walking into this volatile situation.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography