Lusty laughter about letting go, not mockery

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This article was published 06/05/2022 (1564 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new wife has started laughing when she orgasms, and it’s wrecking things for me. I wonder to myself: “Why is she laughing? She never did that before!” Then, I start sliding downhill on the excitement scale and finally end up at nothing.

I feel like she’s started laughing at me just recently, though she says it’s not about me at all, and it’s about her! Yeah, right. Is she lying to me to cover up? She didn’t laugh before.

— Laughing at Me? Downtown

Dear Laughing: Sadly, you have it backwards. As people get closer and warmer and feel more secure — like they can’t do anything wrong — they sometimes start laughing during sex, with the relief of it. They are really letting go. It’s too bad you’re missing this uninhibited fun by worrying.

The sad thing is this: Her joyful laughing is going to go away again if you make your wife feel more inhibited. Do you really want that? Of course not!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The yearly tax drama is over in our basement, and it looks like a bomb exploded! My husband expects me to clean it up, when I do all the accounting and tax work for him, and save the family important money.

I got mad and told him, “I’m not cleaning up the papers in the basement after I already cleaned up your yearly tax situation. You should clean it — and also take me out for dinner somewhere nice.” He hooted, and suggested a well-known burger drive-through and his coupons.

The mess is still sitting there and it will continue to do so. What should I do? Do not suggest withholding sex as that punishes me, as well as him. It’s one of the things he does well.

— Not Caving In, Fort Garry

Dear Not Caving: Hire cleaners to do a yearly basement clean-up after taxes are done and gone. You can’t have the cleaners picking up those papers, as they’re private. So place them unsorted in a box and stash it in the office. Once you’ve improved things a little, the company can professionally clean the basement, and that will feel good.

Done yearly, that will eliminate the old tax-prep battle. The night after the cleaners come, would be a great time to go out for a celebratory dinner at a restaurant you say you’d prefer.

Then, back at the ranch, you may feel like celebrating the end of tax-prep season with a horizontal happy dance!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife — a champion Girl Scout in her day — likes to take our kids wilderness camping. Her ideal situation would be to have me to go with them, but I’m a city boy and a wimp. I will whine and want to go home to my warm bedroom and TV shows as soon as the fire goes out and it gets cold. Campfires don’t help — they just make me shiver.

This May long weekend, my wife, our girls, along with wife’s best friend, her kids and the big gorilla husband, will go camping “no matter what the weather.” I refused to go.

My wife says she has “officially given up on me as a camping dad.” I know, that sounds ominous. I’ve heard Big Gorilla’s jokes about me when they come for barbecues. He hints I’m less than manly. I don’t care about that ape. But what can I do, outside of camping in the cold, to impress my young daughters? I don’t want be a disappointing father.

— Camping Wimp, Winnipeg

Dear Wimp: Starting to build a tree house in your back yard while the family’s away would be very impressive — even if it’s just drawing up the plans and texting your wife about it. Renting a cabin at a beautiful lake for a few weeks in hot July or August would also earn big points. Announcing a summer road trip — and asking for the family’s ideas about where to go would also rate way up there.

Let Big Gorilla try and compete with those plans!

Please send questions, comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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