Mother dragging family downwith mean, vulgar behaviour

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This article was published 23/03/2017 (3466 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother is acting like a she-devil with her increasingly nasty disposition, and she is dragging the whole family down with her. Her memory is OK, but she’s turned mean, vulgar, tight with money and suspicious of everyone. She’s crafty enough to dress up and go in to her doctor and put on a show of being hale and hearty, even joking around, but she’s also a real witch on the way there and on the way back, and every day. What can we do? I’m her middle-aged daughter writing for all her…

— Upset Family, Winnipeg

Dear Upset Family: You clearly have been inside the physician’s office with your mom at some time, as you know how she behaves with the doctor. Contact that doctor and express the concern you have over your mom’s hidden, deteriorating condition. Some doctors appreciate being tipped off to what’s really going on, although some feel they are being disloyal to their patient by talking behind their back. If you phone and find that’s the case, the next time you go in with your mother, bring up her behaviour and then the three of you can talk. It won’t be fun, but for your mom’s own good, and to help the doctor diagnose and treat her properly, the secret needs to be revealed.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to weigh in on the matter of the woman who signed herself The Slob. (This letter-writer says her boyfriend has the “manners of a pig” and he calls her a slob. They’re on a break. The advice was to call him ASAP to talk over the fight and the seriousness of their relationship.)

I think if you are lucky enough to be with someone who you can be with, why can’t you try and work it out? The problem is people are selfish and only think about themselves. People are always looking for the better deal.

In my case, I know I made the mistake of trusting a woman I met online more than I should have, and sent her more funds than I should have, but I wanted her for her. It’s was a mistake, but it was mine and mine alone. It’s going to take a long time to forgive myself for that, if I ever do. Right now, it feels like the world is a very bad place. I should probably talk with a professional about my life, but feel it’s not worth it, as I’m getting to the age where I don’t want to go through the pain anymore. The saying, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” is, in my humble opinion, all made up and definitely not true. I was more happy before.

— Goodbye to Romance, Winnipeg

Dear Goodbye to Romance: I think you’re subtly saying you couldn’t be together with the lady you met online, and you can’t see why this local couple can’t just talk things out and stop quibbling over habits. Understandably you’re angry with yourself because you sent a lot of money to this lady, but now you’re giving up and say you’re through with romance. That’s really not necessary.

You should see a relationship counsellor to work this all out, and regain your feelings of peace. You might also ask about techniques on finding a real romance locally, and how to check out people for their sincerity. Even if you never try again, you’ll be happier if you get help. Anger turned inward can become depression, and you don’t want to bring on that situation.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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