Husband in doghouse for bringing home puppy

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 24/03/2017 (3485 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I bought a puppy without asking my wife and she was mad. Although the puppy was cute, she said she didn’t want to look after one because we just had a baby and she’s on maternity leave. I thought that was perfect timing. I didn’t ask first because I was afraid she would say no. Well, she has said no, and she wants it taken back. I dug my heels in. I believe every only child should have a puppy. This morning she told me if we kept the dog she would go back to work early and then I would go on paternity leave to take care of the baby and the puppy. That’s not going to happen. She refuses to have anything to do with the poor little puppy, and it’s all on me.

— Unhappy Husband, Wolseley

Dear Unhappy Husband: This doesn’t sound like a case of “she’ll-get-used-to-it.” Do you think your wife doesn’t like dogs period, or it’s just very wrong timing? Are you lazy around the house and child?

It’s hard to look after a baby if you’re still breast feeding and have to keep taking a dog for a walk, picking up his poop and cleaning up his messes on the floor. That’s especially hard if you’re the only adult home eight or nine hours of the day — it’s like having two babies. Puppies don’t lie around and sleep all the time like old dogs do. You need to find a neighbour, relative or co-worker who likes dogs and wants this little pup, or take him back to the seller. Don’t you dare ask for a refund when they’re going to have to search for a new owner for this little dog.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Last year I opted out of a relationship that turned out to be wrong in many ways. One of the issues for me was money. His income was much more than double my income, but he moved into my house. At first he was contributing very little, but I thought that was OK because he was in the process of moving and figured that eventually we would come to some agreement that seemed fair. He started contributing half of the expenses down the middle, but nothing for rent.

Have you ever talked about sharing of expenses in your column and how that should be fairly done? If not, it would be really interesting to hear what you think would be fair in various situations. Should income and homeownership be taken into account? This relationship is over for me and I’m not likely to put myself into that situation again, but I’m pretty sure other couples could use some guidelines.

— Old Enough to Know Better, Small Town Manitoba

Dear Old Enough to Know Better: Never say never! You may meet a real winner, now that you’re wiser. I agree that while this man was living with you, it was not fair that he only paid half the expenses and nothing one might call rent.

Before anybody moves in as a live-in romantic partner with a homeowner, there needs to be an agreement worked out in writing and signed. It’s not very romantic, but a smart idea. The home owner needs to see a lawyer and sort out what’s fair, from the start. The partner should get his or her own counsel.

As you know, a while after you start living together as a couple, your love partner becomes your common-law spouse in the eyes of the law. (It’s three years in Manitoba, but in the eyes of the Canada Revenue Agency, you are considered in a common-law relationship after 12 months. If you have children together, you are automatically considered common-law.) And spouse rhymes with house. You have to look at the house situation, from the beginning, not the end, keeping in mind that the relationship might not work out.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography