Right light will help love life sparkle

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/09/2021 (1483 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband and I are older, and I still really enjoy making love with him… but, not in the bright daylight, when every mark of age on my body shows! He really likes his morning sessions, but I prefer loving in the moonlight, candle light or pitch-dark. Please help us settle this.

— The Odd Couple, St. James

Dear Odd Couple: Your husband is turned on by the way you look in the sunlight, and the energetic his way his body feels when he first wakes up. You are being the critic of you own body, not him!

How do you feel about the way his body looks in the morning? If you prefer a more sensual look for your bodies in the bright light, hang translucent gold curtains in the windows so the light filters through and gives you both a golden suntanned look.

As for making love at night — your favourite time — take charge of buying and lighting the candles, and your guy may love the shadowy “visuals” they create. It’ll beat making out in the dark for him, and will show your body at its best. By the way, women tend to be more responsive to sensual sounds and words. Play pre-recorded music you already know will turn you both on, and have a guaranteed romantic time.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My son plays video games all day, every day. I’m worried he’s not having a regular childhood. He’s just 13 — an awkward age — but he’s a good-looking boy, and tall. After COVID, I want him to meet new people, date and do all the things teens should be able to do.

I’ve asked him if he has a crush on anyone, or if he wants to chat about his computer friends, but he just shuts me out! I worry he might be depressed, as he seems to want to get away from us all the time. Is this normal for 13-year-old kids? Should I try to play a bigger role in more or less moving him towards more sociable things?

I just remember meeting guys who had never dated in their youth when I was a young woman (like about 18, starting college) and it was usually awkward or uncomfortable for those guys who were “nerds” all through high school. I want a full life for my son.

— Worried Mom, Transcona

Dear Worried: Let him be in love with his gaming for a little while yet. It’s too early to worry about getting your boy into dating. Be glad he’s not drinking, smoking up and making out (and taking risks). At around age 15 — which is the median age for guys getting involved in a first “relationship”— he’ll probably take his own steps without your pushing him.

Comfort yourself in the knowledge that kids of all genders are using technology or gaming to socialize these days. Although it’s not the fun you experienced, they don’t know any different, unless you start telling tales of all the great times you had with friends as young teenagers.

Once we get past this delta variant and the COVID fourth wave, things will open up for your son — and it may be quite the party time! Then you’ll have other things to worry about — experiences with liquor, drugs, dating partners, motorcycles and cars, and coming home at 3 a.m. Don’t start pressuring him at 13 years old about finding a better social life until it’s really safe to have one. If you get off his back, he’ll want to be friendly with you again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My daughter is marrying a young man I know isn’t faithful, and she doesn’t want to hear it. I’ll admit I was snooping on her computer when she left it unlocked, and ran to the store. I saw her “husband-to-be” tagged in a Facebook video of him, making out with another girl at a little party. It was posted by a girlfriend of hers, then quickly deleted before I could show my daughter.

I told her I saw it, and she just called me crazy and told me I had no business snooping. This marriage is going to be a disaster if she doesn’t wake up! You can’t just get a refund on the wedding if the marriage doesn’t work out, and she has saved up to pay for it herself, with her boyfriend’s help. They’re going to be saddled with a ton of bills and a short marriage, I’m betting. I am beside myself! Please tell me what to do.

— Mother of the Bride & Losing It! Waverley West

Dear Mother: Do you know for sure when that video was made? It may have pre-dated your daughter’s relationship with her husband-to-be. It could have been posted by a jealous old girlfriend or just a trouble-maker acquaintance.

If you do know for sure it was recent, don’t apologize anymore for bringing it up, but go quiet. You can bet you daughter heard you loud and clear, and she has told her guy about it!

It’s time to let it go. It doesn’t help a new marriage to have trouble between the mother-in-law and the groom. He will know you and your husband have hawk eyes on him now. That may be enough to rein him in if he hasn’t been acting groom-like before the nuptials.

You should also know there are some former girlfriends who will grab an engaged guy who used to be theirs and try to give him a kiss he will never forget, before he marries the woman of his dreams. And that’s even if they don’t want him for themselves!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.