Love at first sight could be your imago

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/05/2016 (3477 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I am tired after not sleeping all night, but I had to write you because I need an explanation. I think I met the love of my life last night. He felt so familiar, like I had known him all my life!

We met and our eyes locked. He came straight over to me and we started talking at each other very quickly, eyes connected, words just spilling out. Then we laughed and sat together, then went for coffee and talked and kissed until 3 a.m. Then I made him go home so we didn’t sleep together on the first night. We told each other the story of our lives.

I’m ready for him to move in, I swear it. It seems like a miracle, but this is what I don’t get. Why do I think I already know him?

— Already Partly In Love, Downtown

Dear Already Partly In Love: You have met an imago. That’s someone who has some of the physical, emotional and mental characteristics of one or more people you love and admire. Go through his physical characteristic starting with weight and build, his features, skin colour, hair on his body, laugh, smile and sense of humour. Across from each thing write the name of someone he reminds you of, male or female.

As you get to know him better, keep up with your list, adding personality traits and values and how he treats people of different ages. How does he interact with his family, co-workers and friends, and your family and friends. Pretty soon you will have an idea of why he seems familiar.

An imago is a combination of looks and traits that you find extremely attractive. I know one guy who met and married an imago woman who it turned out, on analysis, had the big brown eyes of his kindergarten teacher whom he loved, the wide smile of his first babysitter, a laugh like his mom’s, the long and lean body shape of his best friend, the artistic nature of his second high school girlfriend and the gentleness of his dad all rolled into one. Get the idea?

You have recognized those things you admired before in people you have cared about. Love at first sight doesn’t mean you knew this person in another world, though it’s convenient and magical to think so.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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