Everything was fine until the check came

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This article was published 27/11/2016 (3291 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a woman online and she invited me out, choosing one of the most expensive places in town. I never had a woman ask me to dinner before and we had a great time ordering wine and expensive dishes. Then it came time to pay and she made no move to pay. I thought she had invited me out! Finally, I looked at her and said, “Hey, you invited me, but I think now you are expecting me to pick up the entire bill, which is very high.” She said, “You’re the guy, and you have a good job, so I thought you’d naturally want to pay.”

Then my stubborn side kicked in and I told her I would pay half and that was it, and asked the waiter to split the bill down the middle. She pouted and reluctantly pulled out a credit card for her half. What is with some women whose liberation disappears when a big bill comes into sight? And don’t you think she had a lot of nerve to ask me out and choosing an expensive restaurant? I drove her home, and she got out and slammed the door hard. I never want to see her face again. What do you think about this? — Shocked by Her, Wolseley

Dear Shocked by Her: It sounds like she was looking for a free ride at a fancy place and thought you had the money to finance it. Not classy at all! Whenever either sex phones up and asks for a formal date, you assume that person will try to pay the whole bill, but you will offer half. If you start seeing each other regularly, you discuss different restaurants and both of you should say right up front, “Let me pay, please,” or, “Let’s split the bill this time.”

It’s important to ask things such as, “Where do you think we should go that’s fun that we can afford?” You should have said to this gold digger at the outset: “Do you really want to spend that much on me, or were you thinking of splitting the bill?” That way you could have settled on an affordable place and determined who was paying, and she would have known you weren’t a mark.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Christmas is coming and I can’t stand my siblings — they are a bunch of hoodlums and crooks — so I booked a trip with a friend of mine. Today she emailed me to tell me she’s buying me a Christmas gift for Christmas morning. I thought we were giving Christmas a complete miss, but she pointed out the island we’re going to is primarily Roman Catholic, so we might as well get in the swing of things.

I wanted to forget about Christmas and have it pass us by while we were in the water and on the beach ordering drinks. Now she’s brought Christmas back into it. I don’t know how to respond to her. — Annoyed Grinch, St. Boniface

Dear Annoyed Grinch: Email her back and simply say, “That’s nice. I’ll give you a gift too.” That’s it. You have avoided the whole family Christmas scene back here, so you can bend a little and buy one gift for your travelling mate. The ideas was for you to avoid the situation at home and you will have succeeded in doing that. You don’t need to be an active Grinch to your travelling companion. And don’t whine about hating Christmas the whole time you’re away. Just relax and go with the flow. Your major objective has been realized when you get on that plane, but remember the trip is only 50 per cent about you.

By the way, if it’s your siblings you can’t stand, but you still love your mom and/or dad, you should give them some flowers or a fruit basket before you leave the country.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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