Boyfriend’s nerdy glasses leave her cold

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This article was published 13/10/2018 (2911 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend just got horrible, nerdy glasses. He went shopping without me and bought the worst pair. They make him look like an old man.

I have offered to buy him a second pair and he won’t hear of it. He likes his glasses. But now there’s a new problem. He says he feels self-conscious around me in them. I can’t get the words back in my mouth from when I made fun of the glasses and laughed in his face. Now what do I do?

— Big Mouth, Brandon

Dear Big Mouth: Criticizing your lover’s appearance is looking for trouble and a cold bed. A person’s glasses are like a part of their body — always there.

It wasn’t wrong to offer to buy him a second pair, if you’d been nice about the first pair. But you weren’t; you made him feel bad. Then it became a huge mistake to tell him you’d like to take over and buy him glasses that were less geriatric-looking.

Think about it. This is the guy you want to kiss — sometimes with those glasses on — and make love to, with the glasses and every other protective piece of covering on the floor. A person can mock the look of almost anyone else and not destroy their own love life, but criticizing the look of those you do love is just not smart.

Some people get used to teasing and criticism amongst their siblings, but even that leaves scars. Could you ­possibly get away with saying, “I’m getting used to those new glasses and starting to like them, in a funky sort of way?” Maybe not, but worth a try.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I love my boyfriend’s mom, but I don’t love my own mother. I don’t even like her. She is a witch, and not just at Halloween.

She had to cancel her Thanksgiving dinner party because no one said yes to her invitations. She is the whole problem! She will find a way to upset everyone who comes to her house. There is nothing quite like it. She eats people alive for a hobby. She even kicks her little dog when she thinks no one is looking, and she drinks like a fish until she’s slurring her words. At the end of any party, she shoos people out the door by 10:30 p.m. so she can get down to some hard drinking before passing out.

The big question: do I owe it to her to go to her place for Christmas dinner? I just got the invitation now, two months early.

— Wanting To Refuse Mom, Tuxedo

Dear Wanting: No, you don’t owe it to mom, but you’ll feel better if you invite her to a rather large Christmas Eve party at your own house, so you’re not talking to her much at all that night. Water down her drinks and feed her lots of protein in the appetizers, and turn up the music.

Let her know she can lie down and nap for 15 minutes if she gets bombed. Then lead her to the bedroom and promise her a wake-up call, which never comes. She can be tricked. Let her sleep, and get her home later.

If you don’t spend Christmas morning with her, leave her a stocking full of presents to ease your guilt. She may be hungover anyway and sleep late, and you’ve done your bit.

Dear MIss Lonelyhearts: We have a gas problem in the house caused by my younger son. There is nothing fouler. I have asked him to take his farts into his bedroom, shut the door and open his window. My husband and I don’t know why he’s like this. It’s disgusting, and we even got a note home from his teacher about it. What do you suggest?

— Stinky’s Parents, Garden City

Dear Parents: Take him to the doctor and find out what’s going on. The doc will try to figure out his full diet, although your son may not come clean. Then there will be other tests to do with digestion. He’s not farting on purpose, and it’s not helping with his popularity at school. Get him the help he needs.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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