Wife sings the man-cave blues

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This article was published 14/10/2018 (2909 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My handsome young-ish husband is a drummer and he loves to practise with the guys in our basement. For several years, I tried to be the nice, accommodating wife, but I suddenly couldn’t take it anymore. I hit the roof and exploded one day when I had a migraine and the drumming was making it unbearable. I asked him to build a man cave in the garage, and we could park our cars in the driveway. So he did. (Be careful what you wish for!) A lot of our savings went into that man cave, and now his music buddies like to hang out there.

They only come in to use the washroom because I don’t want them using the backyard. Now, my husband wants to install a toilet and sink in the garage. I said, “Enough! One of these other guys can build a man cave with a washroom at his place.”

Things went from bad to worse. In the past month, he’s been at other friends’ garages for band practice a lot of nights. I don’t know where this is headed. At least when he was home or in the garage, I knew where he was. Now what?

— Never Satisfied, Winnipeg

Dear Never Satisfied: He’s right. The basement was too loud for you, so he built a man cave in the garage at your suggestion. Now he’s out of the garage and playing elsewhere and you’re mad because he isn’t under your watchful eye. You have a quiet place now and nobody’s tramping in and out to use the bathroom. I’d say you won, except your husband’s on a longer leash now and you can’t keep an eye on him. Just let this fight go. You can only push a guy so far.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was standing at a bus stop downtown when I spotted my ex-husband getting ready to board a

different bus. On impulse, I jumped on the same half-full bus and managed to plunk myself down right beside him.

He was deep into reading something. When he finally looked sideways, he said, “It is you. I thought I recognized that perfume.” He didn’t look too happy. “I’ve worn it for 10 years now. I guess it’s kind of my signature,” I said. He looked kind of startled and said, “I remember your birthday when I gave it to you.” The conversation kind of went dead for a while. But then, he seemed to think of something and cheered up. He said, “I always give my girlfriends the same perfume.” I thought about that for a minute and said, “So they’d remind you of me?“ “Hell no!” he said triumphantly. “I gave that same perfume to somebody before you.”

Suddenly, I went from feeling like I was maybe the biggest thrill of his sexual life to feeling like I was in a Barbie Doll assembly line. I got up, took off to the back of the bus and got off at the next stop. I don’t know what to do with this mess.

— Obsession, St. Boniface

Dear Obsession: A neutral ex would not have brought up the perfume thing. He’s still spiteful. You’d be best to let this nonsense float right out of your mind. He could so easily have been lying, trying to cut you off at the knees. It’s not worth worrying about, because you’ll never know the answer.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I met at a fat-loss club. I managed to keep my weight off, but my husband is heavy again. When we are out, people make comments that I overhear and they are so unkind. My husband never says anything. How can I get back at these people?

— Mean Mouth

Dear Mean Mouth: I once saw a person in this same situation point their finger and loudly say, “I heard that.” Beyond that, I don’t know what else you can do. Does anybody out there have a helpful idea? Please write to the address below.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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