Diary peek reveals ratings plunge

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This article was published 25/04/2019 (2713 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My woman is young, but an old-fashioned type who writes her secret thoughts in a journal. Far be it from me to go snooping, but I found it lying open on the bed when she had to leave in a hurry. She usually keeps it hidden from me.

My curiosity got the better of me and I lay down on the bed, quite interested to read about the sweet things she’s too shy to say about me in person.

I was extremely offended to see that it’s the place where she records her disappointments in me. Apparently I’ve become a bore. I started off as an eight in bed two years ago and have somehow slid to a six, if I’m lucky, and a lousy four when I come home late and tired from studying half the night. I’m going for an advanced degree and it requires long hours.

How would she like to know that she’s often a five because she gets me to do all the sexual “work” and just lies there? But here’s the worst thing: the days of her rating me a seven or eight were over three months after we moved in together.

I’m so mad I don’t know how I can keep this to myself. I know you’re going to say if we have a rating fight, we could ruin whatever we have left. But how could she reduce me to a failing grade when she’s making no effort herself? — Ready to Blow, Fort Richmond

Dear Ready: Have it out with her, using intelligent words — nothing vulgar. Tell her the complaints she’s recorded in that journal might have been avoided if she didn’t sit back quietly and watch her love life with you go downhill.

If you two were once an eight or more to each other, talk about the possibility of re-igniting that with fun and imagination.

Now let’s talk turkey. Is it even worth it? Are you tired of her? Is she bored silly with you, but not strong enough to let go?

The emotional aspect of a relationship can change as people grow and change, and that may be what’s happened here.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I work for a guy who is a real jerk and enjoys yelling at his employees. I hurt my wrist yesterday and he sent me home after yelling at me for 10 minutes.

I called in sick today and I’m going to the doctor tomorrow, but I just got a text from a co-worker saying my boss is going around saying I’m a loser, I’m “faking it” and just costing him money.

I need this job because it pays very well, but my wife wants me to quit. I love my work, I just hate my boss.— Stuck with Abusive Boss, Transcona

Dear Stuck: It serves no purpose to go into his office alone and ask him to be nicer to you. If he thinks the issue is only between you and him, he may laugh in your face and tell you to go back to work.

If your co-workers are willing to also file complaints, you have a much stronger case.

There are two ways to go about this and neither of them involve confronting your boss. If there is a human resources department, and the company is big, this is where you could go first.

But do some research. If the HR person is a personal friend of your boss, you’d be better off speaking with someone at the Manitoba Human Rights Commission (204-945-3007). Before calling the commission, you should reach out to other people who suffer his verbal abuse at work.

If you don’t have enough support behind you, this is the kind of guy who would enjoy firing you and making an example of you to everyone else who quakes when he roars.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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