Grandpa’s wisdom makes for happy marriage

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/05/2019 (2696 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife may be an unattractive woman to some, but to me, she’s beautiful. I used to date physically gorgeous, tall, slim women who everybody admired. It made me feel like I was some kind of hotshot for being able to catch and interest a woman like that in Canada. I liked to take them home for Sunday dinners and show them off, too, and prove how successful I was.

Then my grandfather, who is from the old country, took me aside and said, “Why are you bringing home all these ugly women?” I said, “What? My girlfriends are all really beautiful!” Grandfather said, “But look at their empty hearts, the way they look at themselves in the mirrors, the way they don’t even ask any questions of anybody. They are cold statues!”

It’s true. These women were super-conscious of their looks and fashion and beauty treatments and hair extensions and so on. One was even a model! Ouch. Slowly my eyes opened.

I started looking for deeper beauty and I found it in a tiny woman. My wife is beautiful when she smiles, but she is a little chubby, teeth not so good — not a physical beauty. On the other hand, she loves everyone and is generous and funny and entertaining and I see she loves our babies more than herself.

She is sexually fun and doesn’t care if she gets messed up making love. I thank my old grandfather every time I see him and he just smiles. Isn’t this what grandparents are for?

— Lucky Man, The Maples

Dear Lucky Man: Thanks for writing. Not very many people these days are lucky enough to be close to their grandparents when they get older. Your grandpa didn’t care if you were a young man already, he just let fly with what he thought you needed to hear, so you didn’t make a big mistake choosing a wife.

It’s too bad parents and grandparents these days are so ultra-careful with what they say to their older offspring. Because we all live independently, everyone is scared to say anything critical of their children and grandchildren and risk damaging their relationship.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Why am I so miserable? I’ve been sick all winter and it isn’t from the weather. I am heartsick in Winnipeg. I don’t love anybody and nobody loves me. I came from Toronto — big adventure leaving home — and left everyone there thinking I was on the way up.

The trouble is I haven’t been able to connect with anyone here. I’m a university student and could go back to Toronto, but I would feel like such a loser. What do you think?

—Lonely to the Core, Downtown

Dear Lonely: When you’re heartsick for a long time, you can get seriously, physically ill. Look, my friend, your heart and whole body are begging you to go home! Listen to those messages and go back to your warm world in Toronto. You may feel embarrassed at returning home, but you’ll get over that fast when you have friends again.

You may want to live with family for a time, until you warm up inside and feel healthy and secure. Then, maybe get an apartment with a roommate, someone you already know and would feel comfortable living with.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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