Hockey son turning into hockey dad

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This article was published 19/05/2019 (2696 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My dad was your stereotypical, over-the-top hockey dad. In pushing his dream on me, he made my childhood difficult. I worked so hard at hockey, it felt like a job I didn’t ask for.

As soon as I finished high school, I stopped playing. I needed a long break. I still love the game, oddly enough. Now, I play in a beer league and I love it.

This is the sick part: my wife and I just had a little boy — he’s only 18 months old, and all I can think about is how I want to show him my love for the game. Then, I remember how my dad made me feel about it when I was younger.

How do I show my son how much fun hockey can be while still wanting him to play in the younger leagues? What if he doesn’t even want to try?

— Hockey Dad Tendencies Surfacing, River Heights

Dear Tendencies: Share your concerns with your wife. Make sure you each have a 50/50 say in your son’s activities, so she balances your urge to push him into hockey when he may prefer other sports, arts or outdoor activities.

Maybe he’ll like a little bit of everything for a while before settling on something he really likes. This is far too early for you to be worrying about hockey again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a smart man, but I have to wonder if he is purposefully ignoring my feelings. Last summer, at the cabin, I lost it. I had just recently been laid off work and was very upset, as I’d worked at the company for most of my life.

My husband, who’s had the same job for our entire marriage, seemed annoyed by my feelings of loss and sadness and said, “Oh, for Pete’s sake, are you going to spend the rest of your life crying about that job?”

I couldn’t believe it. This wasn’t the first time he’d been cold about my feelings. He apologized and promised he’d change. Not one year later, he’s back making snide comments whenever I show my emotions. I hate it and I’m losing love for him.

— Hurting From Cold Husband, Selkirk

Dear Hurting: Stick up for yourself and ask him why he can’t sympathize with your feelings. And don’t cry. Just ask him to think about it or get some help because his coldness is causing you to lose love for him. Talk about it again after he has had time to reflect on your concerns.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My dog just gave birth to some purebred puppies and my mother-in-law thinks she’s getting one. She’s a yeller, a bad housekeeper and a hoarder, and never goes walking, which dogs need. There’s no way I’m letting her have one of those puppies. My husband loves his mom and caved and said yes to her request last night. How do I stop this? I’m putting my foot down!

— Puppy Owner, Winnipeg area

Dear Puppy Owner: If mama-in-law wouldn’t be a good puppy owner, it would be wrong and irresponsible to let her take a puppy. So, to keep peace for your husband’s sake, you take the blame. Phone your mother-in-law ASAP and say you are sorry, but there’s been a mistake and the puppies were all purchased before she asked for one.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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